A
male
age
36-40,
*eofox005356
writes:My question is, would a girl that is in a abusive relationship leave if the right man came along? I've been seeing a girl in a long term abusive relationship for a few months now and she has started telling me that she loves me and that she would chose me over him anyday of the week, and thats shes only with him for "financial" reasons. So if i could take care of her financially do you think she would leave her boyfriend of 5 years to be with me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 I understand that you want to be with her and take care of her but at your age do you really want to take on someone with so much baggage, as if she did leave it would be very possible that she would have psychological issues that would need sorting and she is in financial trouble.
There is help everywhere for people in financial difficulty so if she really wanted to leave she would be able to no one has to stay in abusive relationship these days with the help that is out there, maybe if you were that worried you could try and help her get the support she needs to get out and set her on the right track to rebuilding her life again.
Take care.xx.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007): Not asking the right question? "If I could take care of her financially..." - if you want an honest relationship, inviting her in a house and not in a palace should be enough? She says she loves you, then she should decide between love and convenience. Having an abbusive relationship should side the balance on your direction, but remembered she bared this 5 years! It reminds me of a story when the woman was too accustomed to luxury to make the right choice... Perhaps you worry though about not having a stable job yet, judging by the age. Try at least a part-time for your OWN feeling of independency, not because you want commitment, surely the relationship with her isn't well contoured.
Besides, it's not fair to date you while still with him. I wonder what "abuses" she exposed herself to, for the sake of money, as if there were no alternatives. Have you talked about that?
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 This is a very sad story as I view it.It means she is using you emotionally.She will say to everyone that she is in abusive relationship.However, she is five years with him and agrees to stay there.Chances that she leaves him to be with you are relatively low.If this happens, situation is likely to repeat - roles change.
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