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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi,i dont like to bring other people into my problems, but i need some other suggestions and opinions.Im 21 and have been dating my girlfriend for 2 and a half years and we have been living together for 4 months now. But, she went away for a week to finals for her team, called me everyday, but then on her last night while drunk she cheated on me. she hasnt told me yet, and wont(i know her), but i was very suspicous with how much time she spends talking to him online, so, the un trusting ass hole i am, i checked her message history. i dont think they went far.. like maybe made out a lot and maybe some touching. and well, i was so unbelievable upset, but i thought about it hard and decded to forgive whats in the past, people make mistakes, and im not whiling to drop what we have over such a stupid act... i mean, all that we have sacrifed and all the feelings we have, dropped because of one night? i decided i would put it behind me and forgive her (in my head) but checked again and she is still talking to him, and mentioning trying to meet again but to do a lot more this time and how excited he gets her. well.. i want to die. i love her.. part of the problem i think is that shes 19 and wants to get out and have fun in the world (i know shes bored- school life) while she's young, and i know that she is getting bored with us because well that happens when you live together!! regardless, i want her to stop... she mentioned in the convo that "i feel like an asshole, and i know this isnt right, but i cant help it".being she is young and confused and lost, how do i talk to her about this and bring interest back to us!!eveything was great before she went, and since then shes been cold..off and on affection.. i know she's confused to hell... i cant tell her i read her history or she will be balistic with me, and embarrassed. so how do i talk about this, what do i say, what can i do to make her see me and remember what we have. I do not want to move on, she's my best friend, she understands me (and she is gorgeous!).. i love everything about her (except this)thanks for reading the novel
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2005): I know how you feel. My ex was very good looking and great fun but the last six months of our relationship were full of arguments and very up and down. It had been amazing and she kept telling me she loved me so I chose to ignore what I knew deep down - that our relationship was over. I wouldn't be surprised if she had cheated on me but that would have been a side issue. Eventually she built up the courage to finish things. I wish I ahd listened to myself and done it sooner - we both would have been much happier. I'm afraid I think thsi is what you need to do. She's 19 and statistically it's very unlikely she'll stay with you for ever anyway. Sorry. It took me a long time to get over it but it has to be done.
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female
reader, lilqutie +, writes (9 December 2005):
okay i was in a similar situation with my ex and let me tell you if you dont get out you will regret it later i hate to be the one to tell you this because it hurts like hell but she is not going to stop not if she knows it is wrong and still persists on doing it
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A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (9 December 2005):
 The best thing for you to do is confront her about it. If she knows she can get away with it, she will. And she will continue to do it, as long as she thinks you dont know about it. Indeed, she is confused, and probably doesnt want to hurt you at all. Let her know that you do know about it, and ask her if she what she wants to do, as far as working things out. Even if the best answer you get is that she is wanted to 'expierience the world' then at least you will know that you didnt let her walk all over you for a long time. It can do some damage, but in the long run, it will be better for both of you.
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