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writes: my gf have been together for 1 year and 9 months now and she truly believes i cheated on her when i know i didn't but i can't back up my story and its ruining our relationship. i love her and would never hurt her but i have no idea what to do. please help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Get her to define cheating, as has already mentioned for some girls dancing with another girl is cheating.Once you are both clear on what she means by cheating, then you can decide if you cheated or not. If you are still adament that you did not cheat, tell her one more time that you did not cheat.Tell her this is an issue of trust, and without trust their is no way forward for the relationship. If you are still adament you did not cheat, or lie, and if you have not given her any reason to doubt you (past history of cheating or lying for example) thn you need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship.
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male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Define cheating... If there's one thing I've learned from this site its that there is many, MANY forms of cheating.Lets assume that cheating means kissing on the lips or "rockin' the casbah" and lets also assume that you have done neither... Not trying to be self-righteous, but in the past I tried for 2 years to convince my at-the-time-girlfriend that I never cheated, but you know what? Absolutely pointless.She had the "guilty until proven innocent" mind-set. Given that its impossible to prove that one has never cheated, you can't really win that hand. I couldn't at least... even two years later when we became friends, I still overheard her telling her friend that I cheated on her... Meh. I'd suggest sitting down with her and having a big chat, then once you've heard her story, explain how even if you were/are innocent, how impossible it is to prove to her regardless. I dunno man... I tried every possible angle for years and got diddly squat... Maybe you'll have better luck.
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male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 The truth doesn't need much defending. If you didn't do it, look her in the eyes and say you didn't do it and there is nothing else to discuss. But only say the last part if there really is nothing else to discuss.At that point it is her decision to either pursue it further or not.My gut tells me there is more to the story, though. :-)I say this because if I had been accused of cheating, and had not, I would make it very clear a few times, and then I would drop it. With a clear conscience it isn't really that necessary to have the other person immediately believe you. And it would be very smart for a person who had cheated to come here for advice on how to convince an unconvinced partner. Those are just hunches on my part, and please don't take it personal. If you are absolutely innocent, then is there perhaps some history that leads her to be so distrusting?
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female
reader, sunkissed29  +, writes (22 April 2011):
There seems to be a trust issue with her. Are you sure you're not doing anything that might seem suspicious to her? If you're doing everything to reassure her that you're not, then you should really tell her that in the relationship, trust is crucial. Without trust, there is no good foundation for a strong relationship.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Why is she so convinced you cheated, and what is your story that you can't "back up"?
It's hard to advise you without knowing the particulars.
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