A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When dating a girl who is really independant and likes doing her own thing how do you go about dating her? She likes to hang with her friends and do things on her own. She is a freshman in college I'm a junior in college. Is this just what young girls do. Do they grow out of it? What should I expect and what should I do? Just give her space when shes with friends and not worry that she doesn't want to hang with me everyday? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 April 2009):
Haha, will she grow out of it?
Yes, she'll hit 23 and suddenly hate having a social life and have the desperate need to stay in the house and iron your socks.
Will you grow out of being clingy?
Stop worrying, just ask her when she's free this week and see her on that day.
As long as you spend some time together then that is all that matters.
You are not married and you don't need to overdose on her just to get to know her a bit.
Go out and get some friends of your own to hang out with.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, purplecloud03  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 my boyfriend has this same personality. you just learn that when she is with her mates then thats fine, you dont want to steal her away from her friends or make her chose you over her friends and social life. if shes out with her friends take the opportunity to go out with your mates. if your out clubbing then you might meet up for a bit but then go your own ways. you learn to adjust. and you need time apart anyways, you cant spend everyday together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I'm one of these girls at 21 and I don't see myself growing out of it. Can't help it. I'm not out partying or anything. I just can't be around someone every single day, no matter how awesome they are. I had my own life before I met my current boyfriend and I don't believe in becoming ALL ABOUT someone else just because you date them for a while. And I've never appreciated the "friends" who drop everything else/drop off the face of the earth when they date someone new and then come running back when the person dumps them. I never wanted to become one of those people after seeing it happen to so many of my friends. So I never did. Maybe your g/f feels similarly?
I think most guys would be stoked to date someone who lets them have their own space and isn't clingy or needing to constantly be around them in order to function. That said, if you are really bothered by her independence then go find a clingy girlfriend instead. There are many of them out there. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I don't believe that wanting to hang out with friends and do things on one's own is something that needs to be grown out of. There are tons of people out there who don't want to be with each other every single day. that's normal in order to keep a realtionship from getting stuffy and boring. Don't expect her to change. Just accept the way she is and if you can't handle it, find someone who is right for you.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 Well, I'm not sure what to say. The meaning of "not wanting to hang with you" is the key here. If that means "not really caring much about you", then I would worry. If it means "not giving up her group of friends and her old activities, but still finding some time to be with you", then I wouldn't worry.
Look at it this way: if she were always with you, you'd get bored and would want to do things on your own. Do that, and you'll be happy.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (27 April 2009):
 LOL. Will she grow out of it?
Why would she grow out of a personality trait of outgoingness? Don't worry about it. Yes, just let her do her thing.
Now if she's out clubbing, I'd be worried.
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