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She's a lesbian and I love her but I'm not ready to come out of the closet.

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 June 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

dear cupid, a good friend of over 3 years has just come out and has now said that she is in love with me and has been for a while..we are now involved in a very intense relationship, we have a major problem, she wants me to come out, and i told her im not ready..at least 2 or 3 times a week she is in tears because no one knows we are involved...i don't feel like im a lesbian...i don't like watching other women, i just love her...can our relationship survive? she thinks im in denial...i know that im not...i love being with her...am i wrong in feeling comfortable hiding our relationship? please help desperate

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (18 June 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntI agree with Flowergirl. If you two are involved with each other and your feelings for each other are SERIOUS, then I should think you'd be thrilled and ready to tell your friends about it. I understand if you want to wait a few weeks, but if you guys have been together longer than a month or two, I think it might be time to tell others.

I can understand how she'd be really hurting that you want to keep this relationship under wraps.

I agree with the other Aunt's and think you should seriously consider what your real feelings are. All though you say you don't feel like a lesbian, you're still in a lesbian relationship. You can say that you're bisexual if you'd like, but I don't think it's fair to your partner to keep this relationship a secret for long.

In the next few weeks, you should at least let some of your close friends know.

Good luck, sweetness.

xxIndia

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A female reader, Blooregard +, writes (17 June 2007):

oK, if you're saying you don't feel like a lesbian maybe you just feel an intense friendship for this girl and have been through a lot with her?

I have had girlfirend sbefore (I am female) so can easily distinguish between love as afriend and dating material.

If she insists you're in denial that's a kind of pressure which shouldn't be tolerated.

My advice would be to take some time out to evaluate how you feel before rushing into anything.

Good luck.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntIf you really truely love this women then you should not feel comfortable hiding the relationship, you should be wanting to shout about it from the rooftops and be proud to say you are together, so maybe you need to question your true feelings for her.

Take care.xx.

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