A
male
age
36-40,
*loydy
writes:hi, i have a freind i have only known for about a year, he's 39 (im 21) we met when we started work in the same bar. he started bringing his girlfreind (37) to work on saturday nights and after a few months his girlfreind asked me for my number. i didn't think anything of it, until that night, when i finished work, she text me saying she really liked me. i ignored it until a few days later i text her back as if she didnt say it. after a while she grew on me. we started goin shopping together etc. two weekends ago i went away with work and booked the saturday off in the pub. so jokingly i text her asking if "she'd miss me". she said shed text me on the saturday night so i wasnt bored. but she text me saying she wanted to be with me, and i told her i felt the same way. it turns out that she forgot to delete the message and he read it and beat her up. this was apparently not the first time he's beaten her. she was badly hurt and phoned the police, hes now not allowed near her house until it goes to court(hes been in prison twice for beating women) she rang me and asked me to try to convince him that it was a joke. eventually it worked but he asked me not to contact her at all. but i felt really sorry for her and i've been going to see her. we've never done anything (not even kissed...yet) but weve told eachother how we feel. he still wants to be with her but she wants to be with me. so, do you think i should go for it? the only thing stopping me was him ( but now i don't care because of what he did to her so many times), and the age gap. thanks for taking time to read, sorry its so long.
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male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (29 January 2007):
 Hi, I would approach this with extreme caution. This lady obviously has issues if she decides to remain in an abusive relationship and is asking you to tell him it was a joke after he beat her up! These will probably surface in the relationship if you get together. I suggest you get the name of a local counsellor/help group who specialise in assisting battered woman. Try and convince your friend that she goes and maybe go along for support. She needs to get away from this guy who's and start to love and respect herself before she'll be able to commit to you in the type of relationship that you want for yourself. If you really feel for her then you could help her but you'll need the professional assistance. Also be aware that this guy might come after you both afterwards so you may need to move away so it's not a simple decision to take. Take care & good luck.
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (28 January 2007):
 u should try to help her out of the situation but it's up to u a good person would help good luck
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (28 January 2007):
 I think it's for her to decide what to do next. Whatever happens with this guy she's going to need some closure time before she dives headfirst into a new relationship. Let her be your guide.
CD
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