A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so i've been with my girlfriend for 4 months and we have a long distance relationship and its a strong one but the problem is that i have put so much effort to make it work and she has only put a few and she believes that in all relationships the guy has to show more effort always which i find ridiculous i want to know what to do or how to convince her that she is wrong??? or am i wrong??? i tried to talk to her and she just laughs at me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): Your post made me think of the lyrics to the Beatles' song 'Girl''...Did she understand it when they said that a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure? Will she still believe it when he's dead?'You've been given some cracking advice her. She can believe what she likes, but it won't make it true. DON'T continue to make 100% of the effort. This won't earn respect, but will cause you to be taken for granted. And it certainly won't do much for your self-esteem either!And she can laugh all she likes when a partner rationally and maturely tries to talk to her where there are issues in the relationship- but, if the partner has any self-respect, this will ultimately lead to the break down of her relationships until she learns to listen and treat people with respect.You deserve better than this.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Good luck to you. If you think you are being bull-shitted, lol, you probably are! Be an upright guy and you'll be fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think thats best thanks ladies and that one guy you've made me feel more confident on what to do
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
As one of the aunts here says, stop rowing the relationship boat and see what happens.
She's old enough to learn new things. There are princesses and then there are Princesses. You don't want to be stuck with a high-maintenance girlfriend, especially not with your first one, you'll wind up being taken advantage of by your next romantic interests.
Make her work to keep your interest, okay?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe just turned 16
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
Sometimes people have to learn in real life how things work. Just because somebody closes their eyes and wishes really really hard, doesn't make it happen.
I think maybe you could just stop doing 100% of the work, drop it to 50%. If she likes you enough, she'll either decide to pitch in with her half or you can decide if someone this stubborn, naive and selfish is a good choice for a girlfriend.
How old is she, anyway?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think you all are right but to make it worse she was here visiting for vacation and now she leaves thursday and is saying its up to you if you want to come see me before i leave putting a bunch of pressure on me i dont think thats fair. i know she loves me and i love her but she is my first girlfriend and im her first boyfriend so i feel like while im trying to grow up and become more serious shes stuck in fairytale land being childish and expexting her "prince" to do everything for her. and everything i have said to you guys i've said to her but she is a strong believer in her mentality
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): She laughs at you when you tell her there's a problem that needs fixing? Not a great girlfriend if you ask me.
OP she's never going to agree with you, so you're either going to have to keep being her slave boy or find another girl who is more suited to you.
Pull back a bit, give her some room to start making more of an effort.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 April 2013):
 sounds like you guys are not compatible.
stop putting in all the effort and see what happens.
she may not contact you in which case you know what has to happen (it's over)
but I'm betting if you don't get in touch with her for a few days she'll find you....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni tried telling her that but she wont understand she stuck on the facte of believing that all guys must show more effort and i asked her why and she said thats just how it is but i dont agree i dont know what to do
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