A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my x gf is 10 yrs. older than me and we were together for 6 months before she broke up with me last week. we have had trouble in the past and even broke up for a weekend, two weeks before she ended it. since we have been back together everything has been real nice, but she said that she just isnt happy anymore in the relationship. she has been under a lot of stress and two days before she broke up with me her boss died and left her without a job and she is concerned about money. she promises that it has nothing to do with me or any other guy; she said that she just doesnt want to be in a relationship right now. she said that i am the only one that she would want but its just not the right time. it has been a week since we have seen each other, but we still talk everyday on the phone. i still really love her and i want to help her out the most i can with her problems. i would like some advice on how to get her back?? and do you think there is a chance?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Thanks for the update. When I say treat with caution, it's just that any advice I give you, might be wrong and you might be doing the wrong thing. I don't know this girl, I don't know if she likes you, loves you or is using you.....
I like you, I think your nice. You like this girl, you want her. So I want you to have her. She's older than you and must feel like she's taking advantage of you. No matter. She's been under stress, your relationship has been under stress, she needs time, so you give her the time she needs.
It's just that I'm not sure about all this saying "I Love you" stuff. She must know that you love her, it's not fair if your the only one saying it. Dose this indicatiate she loves you, she dosen't..... It makes my head hurt.... You tell her you love her, but she dosen't respond, what dose this all mean? Dose hearing about your love give her the support she needs and evidence to know you care, or is she so used to it, that she takes you and your love for granted. These are all the things I do not know, and therefore I urge you to take my advice on this with caution.
You seem like a nice guy, you love her. It's just that I want you to recieve all the love you deserve, I want you to be happy, I don't want her to use you and make you cry.
Good luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwut exactly do u mean about treat ur advice wit caution?? i mean the day that we broke up she stopped sayin i love u before i do.. i would like som advice. do u think i should stop talkin to her and try and get over her, bc when we do talk its always som nice conversations. should i ask her if she still loves me r that would be pressuring her 2 much? im really confused on the signals she is giving me.. and she has never even told anyone that we are apart yet and she told her niece that we are on a break, wut that means?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwut exactly do u mean about treat ur advice wit caution?? i mean the day that we broke up she stopped sayin i love u before i do.. i would like som advice. do u think i should stop talkin to her and try and get over her, bc when we do talk its always som nice conversations. should i ask her if she still loves me r that would be pressuring her 2 much? im really confused on the signals she is giving me..
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is not a good sign. It indicates a growing distance in your relationship. TREAT MY ADVICE WITH CAUTION. Nothing you have said leads me to believe that trying to rush this girl will bring you what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the advice yall have given me. I want to ask someone that when we talk on the phone, we talk normal wit eachother and when i ask her if she misses me; she says yes. when we hang up she never tells me first that she loves me as she used to do, but once i say it, she says I love u 2. Do u think that she means that she misses & loves me r she may just be sayin it to make me feel better??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): She needs time, back off a little. Tell her love her and your there for her, tell her you want to support her and leave it at that, give her time. Of course you can be friends, just keep it light, learn just to have fun in each others company, without the hang up's of having a intimate relationship right now.
If you love something set it free, if it loves you it'll come back. You'll be alright, if she dosen't realise how wonderful you are she needs her head examined.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (19 May 2008):
 Yeah I think that would be a good idea. Just to get her mind off her stresses and relax for a few hours. Good thinking! I'm glad I helped you out :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to say thanks a bunch! ur response made me feel better and will help me. do u think that it would be a good idea to ask her to go to a movie r grab a bite to eat with no strings attached? just for her to get away from stress and relax as friends?
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 May 2008):
There could possibly be a chance but give her time! Talk to her about her problems, don't talk about getting back together all the time. If or When she is ready, she will let you know. She is obviously going through a lot right now she needs to deal with on her own so just be there for her when she needs you and don't cause her anymore un-needed stress about relationships. She talks to you everyday, I doubt she has left you for another guy, and besides you have no reason to think that. Take a deep breath and think about her needs before yours. I know you love her but that is how you are going to show it, by being there for her and respecting her wishes. Good luck and I hope she feels better.
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