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She spends more time at her mum's than with me

Tagged as: Family, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 June 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

In the past 3 or 4 months my girlfriend seems to be spending more and more time at her mum's house rather than spending her time with me. I'm almost 26 she's 25 and we have being living together since November last year.

We live very close to her parents house (5 min walk away) and she seems to use every excuse she can to spend her time around there. It is very rare that she will come home before 7-8pm.

I have confronted her about this saying that i'm not happy that she seems to want to spend more time there than with me, am I being paranoid about this or am I justified in thinking that it's not normal for her to be spending more time with her mum than at home with me?

She just shrugs it off saying that it is not that she doesnt want to spend time with me she likes talking to her mum. I don't believe that she has stopped loving me but it is getting me down that she is constantly with her mum and not me. How can I get through to her that it is not acceptable what she is doing, or am i just being silly about it?

View related questions: am I being paranoid

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007):

I'd like to reply to this seeing as it's about me.

I spend time round my mum's because all he does from the second he wakes in the morning to the second he goes to bed he sits on the computer, "playing" with his internet friends.

When i'm in bed or out at work or my mums he does nothing but watch porn!

He can't see how that upsets me, tells me every bloke does it yeah maybe when they aren't in a relationship, he doesn't talk to me unless it's to ask what i want for dinner or if i wanna watch a film. I go to my mums to talk to someone i cant spend all day sat in my own feeling alone even though he's sat in the same room. He knew i was close to my mum, and i came in from work today to have walk out on me.

The expects me to do the chasing and beg him to come back and make me feel unloved and crappy. ~sorry rant over~

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntI'm glad that you feel that way and now you have said that she is pregnant with what i'm guessing is your first child i can kind of understand why she maybe spending qiute that much time with her mum, i myself have children and it's very daunting having your first and there are many questions you want answered and who best to do that than your mum as you know she will be totally honest with you, i'm sure knowing that it will calm down soon and i wish you the very best.

Congratulations.

Take care.xx.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your reply flower girl, i'm glad it's not just me being paranoid and being silly.

There are two very important factors that I failed to mention in my first question as to how much I am able to tolerate what is happening.

The first is, that despite everything I love her with all my heart.

The second, she is 16 weeks pregnant with my baby, and no matter what I do not want to just walk away from someone who is carrying my baby.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntI don't think you are being silly about it at all, i see my parents everyday but i am married so i make sure i am home with my husband when he gets in from work as that is our time.

You say you have talked to her about, if she is not prepared to calm it down abit and spend more time with you then you have to consider how much more of this you are prepared to put up with.

Have you asked her why she does not talk to you about the things she talks to her mum about?

I'm sure you have no problem with her seeing her mum but understandably you would like to spend more time together so tell her this.

Take care.xx.

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