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She says we are too close to be lovers

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 July 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 July 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, *ytsheena writes:

there is this girl i have known for 3years, we have been good friends, we share everything, she know a lot about me and i know a lot about her too. she always tell me that i am her best friend. i love her but i never told her until recently, i want to go beyond just friends, but she insist that we are too close to be lovers. i have begin to get jealous especially when she is on phone with her "boyfriend" i can't stand it anymore, now i am trying to let go of her, but she wont go, she says she want me as a friend, but i am in love with her...please help me

View related questions: best friend, jealous

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009):

be really careful you could end up losing ur friendship

i know i never thought id say this but once ya kiss and it gets akward if one of u likes the other more etc then it creates tension and fighting

but it could be different for you guys =)

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A female reader, Brook_e_boo United States +, writes (4 July 2009):

Brook_e_boo agony auntwell this one is a tough one um i i caould say is talk to her about evrything that is going though you mind let her know wut u feel towords her ask her how she feels and try to persue a relation ship

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A male reader, 2old4this United States +, writes (4 July 2009):

2old4this agony auntTranslation, " she doesn't like you like that, so you best move on". I say this from experience not to hurt you. Not gonna lie, she could change her mind but it's highly unlikely. All you can do is sit down and tell her how you feel and if she doesnt want you, then walk away. If you try to keep her around as friends then it will make you miserable.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009):

You sound like you are faced with the same situation that I am in with this guy. We were close question "friends vs lovers". You'll see it's the same. Maybe you can give a male perspective.

You need to know if she feels the same way about you. Even though she says that you are too close to be lovers....Does she love you romantically too?. Maybe she doesn't want to ruin the friendship that you two have. A relationship could spoil everything that you have together. Sometimes things take time. Maybe eventually she will realize how much you mean to her. Do not let go just yet. Be her friend but also make her feel special at the same time. Like send her a card, write a poem, surprise her with dinner if she's upset..something like that. Continue to spend more time with her than that "boyfriend". Don't be too persistent about being in a relationship thing cause she may not be ready.

I know the feeling about being jealous while the other person speaks to the significant other. If making her special fails. Then walk away for a while even if she begs you. Eventually she must realise how important you are to her and perhaps you two are really meant to be together.

Let me know how it goes...I hope that I am of some little help to you.

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