A
male
age
30-35,
*asteaway
writes:Dear cupidI have been going out with a girl for two months. These few days she has been iffy if she wants to continue and doesn't know if she can. She finally told me what she thinks. Heres what she said in a facebook message"Okay scratch what I just said... I still have strong feelings for you... But the truth is... I feel like you can do much better... You asked me what I liked about you... I like everything... The way I see your face light up when ever I'm with you.... The way you are starting to come out of your shell these past few months... Also I love your new hair cut because I can see you beautiful face... I love you but I really feel that you can do much better then me...."I don't know what to say and my parents say move on but a part of me says no wait. She doesn't know what she wants it seems. I can't fix that. But I know I can give her a general idea of it. I want her and I want to love her. I will do my own thing too. I was taking some time to get used to this whole relationship. What do I do to fix this? I want to love her and hold her in my arms.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 I like PsyCookie's advice, but I'm a wee bit concerned about why she's saying that you can do better. I think that when a person says that to another, in this case girl to the boy, it means that she has mentally started to move on, and doesn't want to make the boy feel badly about the split. It's a way of assuaging the guilt she feels for wanting to break up. By saying that you can do better, that doesn't necessarily mean she haw low self-esteem, it may be code for she doesn't want to work on the relationship any more.
You could try to talk about this with her, but be prepared for the worst. What she wrote in your facebook page could be interpreted to mean that she's happy to see you and that you have grown in the relationship. You coming out of your shell and your face lighting up--were you shy and introverted before you met her? Now that you're out of that shell, she's happy for you, but she's just not interested in continuing the relationship.
Sorry for being so negative about this, but I don't want you to get blind-sided by this and get hurt more than you need to. Just don't hand her your heart for the time being.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (21 August 2008):
 You could tell her that she's so much perfect for you, and that you deserve the best, and that's why you chose her.
She sees you as too good for her, and she might actually mean it. She has low-self confidense and I think she still hasn't adjusted to all of this. She might see you as her dream coming true and she still hasn't gotten over to the idea that it's reality.
When you do this, do it on person and hold her very tightly. Whisper to her ear, and tell her that you love her no matter what. If she cries, don't let her wipe her tears, let them run.
But only do all of this if you want to be with her. Good luck.
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