A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am married for the last 20 months . I am 28 whereas my wife is 27. 20 months back, I met her in a stadium while watching football match and I lost my heart to her within no time. In the stadium, offered her 600000 Euros to marry me as I was thinking someone else might get interested in her and would die without having such a beautiful girl in my life. After three days brainstorming over my offer , she accepted it and we got married. After marriage, for next six months, she didn’t show any love for me but I remained positive that I would win her heart which eventually happened. Now we have 2 months old baby,”Sun”. For the last one month, she has been saying that I bought her not won her heart and that is something hurt her. She starts crying and cursing me, saying neither she can live without me nor she can stay with me. When I go to office, she immediately calls me, kissing me over the phone and saying she’s missing me and I should come home immediately and then I rush home and she pampers me so much that I don’t feel like doing anything else except staying with her. I love her too much and got married to her for that simple reason. Am I really a bad person for having done this? Don’t you guys think she also loves me? What should I do to make her get rid of this inconsistent behavior ? I have said sorry to her many times for getting married to her like this. Help from you guys would be appreciated ! Thanks !
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Six hundred thousand Euros? Seriously, a 26 year old guy (at the time of the marriage), shelling out 600000 euros to buy a bride, while watching a match in a stadium? As CindyCares said, if you were that rich, you would be in a special enclosure, sipping wine and not in the midst of angry, sweaty fans, and girls who can be bought with cash.
IF however, you are a millionaire and your wife files for divorce, she would get a huge sum of money from you. There's no need for her to stick to you and then act hot and cold. She's a girl who's been bought with money, all she'll see is green.
Nope, nothing adds up. There is no way all this is possible. This has got to be a troll
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Thank you Cindy for that currency conversion!
I'm having a difficult time taking this story seriously as well. Have you paid her the money as promised? Or was there some sort of catch involved?
It doesn't make any sense for her to be upset since she accepted your offer. Unless of course she now has morals.
I don't see why she stays married to you either, she could've taken the money and ran. Unless, you only pay her a certain amount over time.
You can't get rid of your wife's inconsistent behavior, unless you submit her to counseling. Even then it's not guaranteed. She's stuck feeling this way as long as you two are married. I'm afraid this is the PRICE you PAY for buying her out.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): I am the same guy who has post the question here. @CindyCares : sorry in hurry i couldn't edit my post as I had to run somewhere - the amount is 60000 Euros not 600000! Hope this helps clear things for you to help me get out of this messy thing! Due to some personal reasons , I can't disclose my and my family identity and financial position. @So_Very_Confused: Yeah, she has seen doctor and they didn't find anything wrong with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 November 2011):
 600000 Euros? Oh get real. If you had 600000 Euros to spend just like that, you would not be at the stadium watching a football match, you'd be playing polo or golf in some exclusive Club. Or maybe you'd be at the stadium, in the VIP invitation only enclosure , and you would not meet any strapped for cash girl.
For our American friends : 600000 Euros is close to 1 million USD, and it's 20 - 30 years of average income for Europeans.
OP, congratulations for your imagination , but keep in mind that IRL you would have closed a very bad deal. Mail order brides, and cash against citizenship weddings do exist- but they cost much less. For that sum, you could have married at least SIXTY beautiful young girls.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 November 2011):
600000 Euros? Oh get real. If you had 600000 Euros to spend just like that, you would not be at the stadium watching a football match, you'd be playing polo or golf in some exclusive Club. Or maybe you'd be at the stadium, in the VIP invitation only enclosure , and you would not meet any strapped for cash girl.
For our American friends : 600000 Euros is close to 1 million USD, and it's 20 - 30 years of average income for Europeans.
OP, congratulations for your imagination , but keep in mind that IRL you would have closed a very bad deal. Mail order brides, and cash against citizenship weddings do exist- but they cost much less. For that sum, you could have married at least SIXTY beautiful young girls.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): hmm...unusual story...i think you are not the only one to blame...she probably is not the kind of girl who married you only for MONEY...eventually she must have fallen in love/ got attached especially since you have a baby together,
what ever happened in the past happened ..now what you CAN DO about it is...MAKE HER FEEL LOVED,special,do something romantic every once in a while...WIN her love ,heart...make her feel secure that you LOVE and CARE ..not just LUST her...again im not saying buy her gifts..DO something ...help her out in small chores..care for her when she 's sick...say nice things ,give her occational kisses and hugs,...generally after a year or so after the relationship..women begin to wonder WHY did he start loving me and will he love me forever?...now in your case it sounds like it was just her EXTERNAL beauty...now she would feel obviously insecure ...somewhere from the subconscious mind questions would arise like "what if he sees someone more beautiful?" "what if he doesn't love me as a PERSON?but only my looks...he might get fed up of me "..."now that i am a mother and soon il look older he will find me less attractive" and since the REASON for your "LOVE" was based on just LOOKS....these things would kill her from inside making her feel insecure ,unloved ,possessive ,cranky,regretful...she must also be regretting that she didnt let you know at that time when you asked her to marry...that she is also like any other girl ...and not cheap to just accept you for money...which she did (she might have various other reasons like..maybe she also liked you,or she thought she wouldnt get a better deal..since men these days even after dating for years may not ask you to MARRY them ...and marriage is every girls dream lol)
the bottomline is that SHE LOVES YOU TRULY NOW and wants TRUE, VALUE based AFFECTION based relationship...if i were her 1.)i wouldn't have accepted the proposal
2.)for many other reasons ,IF i had said YES, i would have made sure that the guy knows that i am NOT doing it because of the MONEY...
maybe she said yes because of the money but NOW she LOVES YOU and not the MONEY and thats a great thing!
so now she is obviously hurt..thinkin that you still love her only because she is BEAUTIFUL...do you only praise her for her beauty??if yes, then she might be feeling that you dont LOVE HER ENOUGH but kind of LUST her...!
sit her down..make her understand that you really really love her to bits :)not just for her looks..but because she is your WIFE and your baby's MOTHER
methinks SO VERY CONFUSED is also right..the post partum thing is not doing good to her either...being a new mommy is also rough and you need to be with her emotionally...clearly..she is not EMOTIONALLY SATISFIED/SECURE WITH YOU thats the reason she often demands your PHYSICAL PRESENCE..
YOU must must must WOO her ...love her like anything and NOT JUST FOR BEAUTY but as i said love her because she is YOURS...someday she might be old and ugly..no one is ugly if you love them...but according to a materialistic person...who she thinks you as...a person can be ugly...and based on the LOGIC of your "LOVESTORY" you could FALL OUT OF LOVE in the same manner that you FELL IN LOVE...
even if she IS BEAUTIFUL ALL HER LIFE...she wont be happy...because it was never based on emotions...but just attraction..atleast thats what she thinks from her side
on the other hand SHE COULD BE GUILTY and SAD! that your love wasn't FEELINGS based?!...women often fail to recognise or accept their own role in the mistake made...just because they feel hurt ..they think they are victims,pity themselves and BLAME the man!
its just a ghost of your own joint mistake...the two of you .... atleast now build the foundation of LOVE ,FEELINGS,CARE,TRUST etc...which you should have in the beginning...tell her things you like about her as a PERSON...
and you guys have a baby...so its easier...bond as a family...love your child...let her know that they mean the world to you! all the best :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): First off, she CHOSE to accept your offer. Secondly, your offer was lewd. Thirdly. What did you expect when you both didn't do the honest thing and build a loving friendship based on love, kindness, charity, tenderness, laughter, as most loving, strong marriages should first start out in friendship built on honesty?
You both are at fault.
The best way to 'clean' up this mess is to start dating, keep the friendship going, and to seek guidance via a MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR.
Make no excuses. You both want this, then it is far worth it to take the time, money, and effort to save the marriage and your Family especially since there is a child involved.
I have to say, healthy adults do not do what you both did with making marriage a game and using money to lure someone and to be so easily swayed to think your love could be bought?
If there is a happy ending- I'd consider making your marriage/love into a movie script. You could take a sour moment and turn it around.
Peace Out!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): the whole relationship did not start on a good note. however, that is not to say things can never be normal. i think she does love you, but feels stupid and guilty to have agreed to marry you for a money deal. she needs to forgive herself for having 'sold herself' instead of marrying for love. for now, just keep re assuring her of your love and understand her behavior. am sure she will get over it.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 November 2011):
 let me get this straight..
you saw her in a public place
you did not know her before this
you did not have mutual friends
you offered her MONEY to marry you
she accepted.
this is a business deal then... not a love match.
are you a bad person? no I don't think you are bad. I think you misunderstand what is going on... she married you for money and security. does she love you? I don't know but if she agreed to marry you for money she did not love you and may not love you now...
if you love her and want her to love you, then you must woo her now...
it's not a good situation.. sounds like at 2 months post-partum she may be having some post-natal depression. Has she been seen by a doctor for this?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): Wait, you paid the girl to marry you? And you expect her to love you? Haven't you heard that money can't buy love? Honestly I have never heard of a case like this. I hope you have signed a prenup.
...............................
|
