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She says I am trying to steal her BF, but we're just FRIENDS

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2007)
A female Denmark, anonymous writes:

My ex, Jay, whom I split with over a year ago is a great guy and we have remained friends..I am one of those people who can't just forget about people who meant something to me once and so is he, in fact our friendship has strengthened by the day, but it is just that- friendship.

However, he has recently started seeing a girl, whom I go to uni with, she is on the same course as me, now this girl will just not stop shooting me evil glares and pass snide remarks when I am around. Jay is on holiday at the moment and emailed me to pass some stuff on to his gf who could then give it to him. I left a note inside the folder merely stating that I hoped he was enjoying his holiday and that his notes were useful. Anyway, the gf in question took this note and ripped it up right in front of me. She has also made up a load of lies about me trying to "steal her bf"!! How do i get her off my back? I am bored of her immaturity and that she's so small minded that she cannot understand that it is possible for males and females to genuinely be friends

help

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A female reader, chirpychicken United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2007):

chirpychicken agony auntsorry its been a while. have you sorted things out? I think she is just simply being very childish and in time she will stop worrying about you and find something else to worry about. You shouldnt stop seeing jay as he is your friend and im sure jay will think the same so dont worry about her let her get all snotty about it all. thats her problem, not yours!

take care

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thabks for the advice CC, much appreciated. There is definitely no flirting going on between Jay and I so I still can't see what the problem is.

I do have a boyfriend though, and he's cool with mine and Jay's friendship, we did split up on very good terms, main reason being that he was starting his first year of uni and I was still in high school.

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A female reader, chirpychicken United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2006):

chirpychicken agony auntThis one is a tricky one but I can see it from both sides. I am the first person to believe in male and females being just good friends as I have lots of male friends. some of them I consider better friends than some of my female friends. But, However, the fact that you once dated is the reason why his gf cannot get to grips with things. she knows that you and he were once attracted to eachother and this is what does her head in. the "ex" is always a situation that is hard to be in where new partners are concerned. It takes a very understanding person to accept the friendship and these kind of people are hard to come by. Perhaps a boyfriend of your own would help to show that it is definately over and that you have moved on and you are just good friends. it may even be hard for your new bf to accept this friendship though, maybe you need to back off a little just while it cools down. if you are still friends then it shouldnt be a problem to do that. you both may still have some feelings for eachother deep down and you may not realise and might be giving off some kind of signal that is just not how friends act. its really hard i know but this does happen. what was the reason you split up? was it on bad terms? good terms? this could be affecting the gf as she may think you didnt split up on bad terms and think there may be some feelings still between you. try to look at it from that point of view and try to show her that you really are not in it to steal her bf and that you have moved on and have your own life.

i hope i have helped and you can sort things out

good luck

CC :)

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