A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen in love with a close uni friend. We both commute to uni but live in opposite directions quite a distance apart. I see her most days and despite not having anything really in common – we do feel quite close.I have always fancied her and recently after spending a lot of time with her working on a project I have really fallen for her. I have spoken to her face to face about how I feel - and she now knows that I have feelings for her.She said that she does feel close to me – but only as a friend – and that she doesn’t feel that spark. She said that I am a good person and whoever I meet will be lucky to have me. However to me that means that I will never really be anyone more than a friend from uni in her life and makes me sad and sort of scared – I care about her more than anything in the world - shall I give up and move on? Or fight to win her heart?I have never felt this strongly about anyone before – both of us have never had previous relationships – and I’m finding it harder and harder each day to live my life – and to be around her. I’m hurting really bad.There is a twist with our friendship – she does tend to ignore me in group situations and rarely speaks to me in a group environment. When I ask if I’ve done anything wrong – she says no – but I feel like I annoy her when being myself with others.She can be quite agitated to me in groups – say things to others to have a laugh - and act like she is annoyed with me at times in group situations. However she is completely the opposite ‘kind’ and ‘different’ when alone together.I’m confused about our friendship and what to do next? Any advice would be cool?Many Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): You can not "win her heart" if you try you will just drive her away as a friend too. She has already told you she feels no spark, that will not change.
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