A
female
age
41-50,
*hea
writes:Hi! My mother-tongue is German, so please forgive my English. My boyfriend and I are mid twenties. We are together for more then two years now. My problem is, that he very seldom asks, when we will meet next time or what we could do. It is always me asking. The other thing is, he never phones, when we don't see each other for more than three days. When I want to hear him, I have to phone him – and I do, because, I can't wait... I told him, that I'm not happy about waiting for a call. And now he started to do it sometimes. But when he does, I have to wait after 10 pm and at this bed-time. I don't want to sit next to the phone all day, waiting for a call. Sometimes I get angry and I think, I will not answer the phone, just to let him know what it feels like, not beeing important enough to talk to. I told him, I'd love him to phone more often or ask me for a date. But why does he not care about? When I have to wait, I doupt, if he really loves me. How can I tell him how importand that is to me? Should I call him, when I would like to or should I always wait for him? Is it a good idea to not answer the phone if he phones very late (he knows I don't like phonecalls after 10pm)? How should I react if he doesn't ask me for a date? Should I ask? Or should I wait for him to ask? He sometimes does aks, but just an hour befor he wants to meet. Should I wait for that or should I plan my week and if I have no time that evening he wants to meet, tell him that I allready have my plans? It makes me unhappy if I can not spend the evening with other friends because I'm hopping him to ask me for a date. Should I really do this? I'm looking forward to read your answer! Thank you very much! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Thea +, writes (23 March 2007):
Thea is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer! That is exactelly what I wish, that HE pursues me. But would you tell him this? Should I tell him, about my feelings?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): What you are doing is chasing this man. A very bad idea. It makes you undesirable in his eyes, trust me on this. If you want this man, STOP CALLING HIM NOW. Do not ask him out, let him pursue you. Make plans with your friends and DO NOT BREAK those plans if he calls you. This is much more attractive than what you are doing which comes off as clingy, needy and dependentunattractive. What you want to be is fun, social, confident and with a good, happy life of your ownattractive. Go ahead and tell him how much fun you had last night when you went out, add nothing more, let him wonder who all you met and what all you did. Don't lie or anything and don't do anything you will regret but stop being so avialable or you will lose him for sure.
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