A
male
age
36-40,
*2yan
writes:I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 years, everything was going well till year 3 when she wanted her space, at that time she never really got it and things went back to normal. Last weekend she just broke it off, she said that she has been attached to somebody so long that she just wants to be single and that she really just needs to know that she can be independant and not rely on other people. she said it has nothing to do with me and that she loves me and the person I am, its about her. My girl friends think that this is just a excuse to get out. do you guys think there's anything I can do to fix it or is it a lost cause? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): to be honest with u i dnt think it was jus an excuse. i have felt like this before n jus broke up with my bf because of these reasons. i had been in a relationship for so long i didnt feel like a single person nemore jus part of a couple. i needed space to find where i was n what i wanted to do. i was totally confused at the time. i am quite an independant person but when i was with him it was like i didnt need to do nethin as he had everthin covered (ie phone bills, takin me out, buyin me clothes) this was all very nice n obviously i was flattered but sometimes u jus need to be on ur own.
if i was u i would give her a lot of needed space. if she comes back then its up to u to decide what to do - the ball will be in ur court. other wise, get on with ur life n maybe u will meet agen n be mates.
i hope this helps take care x
A
female
reader, sweetheart03  +, writes (6 May 2008):
Its a lost cause you can't do or say anything to get her back when she doesn't want a relationship. And I think it was a way to just be single and do what she wants to do! She wants to date around! My boyfriend did the same thing to me! But she will come back around when she sees there is no one better then you. He came back! I didn't take him back cause he did cheat before and it wasn't best. But let her be she might have another guy in mind or just wants to be free when she's out with the girls!!!! Just focus on you everything happens for a reason...just be strong and good luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 May 2008):
 One more thing. Your female friends are telling you that she is giving you excuses. Men don't understand women, but women have the great ability to understand each other. So, if these female friends of yours are telling you that these are excuses, LISTEN.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (6 May 2008):
I believe it is a lost cause. Or, rather, I don't think there's anything you can do to win her heart back. If you had that chance, she'd be telling you to change this or that. Since she's informing you she's leaving, I don't think that's possible.
You may want to give her all the space she asks for. I mean, not calling her, not bumping into her by chance, et cetera; and make sure she knows you are purposefully giving her that time and avoiding to bump into her. If she doesn't come back in a period of time, whose length only you can define, well, grin and bear it.
In the meantime, make good use of your time. Get up late, go to parties, have your beers, whatever. You can also think why the relationship went wrong, so you avoid those mistakes in the future. And remember you're a free man, and that because she told you to break your ties.
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