A
male
age
30-35,
*rokenhope
writes:okay, well basically i'm lost. My girlfriend and i broke up yesterday because i snapped and found a call from another guy on her phone and text him cussing him out for calling her. this guy has defended her in school and apparently he knew about everything between us, but i had never heard of him until i saw the call. i trust this girl 100% and i'm doing everything i can to show her i love her. she says she needs time but while shes taking her time i'm sitting at home suffering in agony thinking of her. i see where i was wrong and i am telling myself that i won't do that again but she won't give me the chance to prove it. she still says she loves me i'm so confused any help please. it will be deeply appreciated.
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male
reader, passion1123  +, writes (10 October 2009):
It is the 2 sides of same coin--but actually she is the one who's wrong to not not to tell u this but it may be ur attitude that may have led her to think u wud be pissed off.
Just tell the same to her that if in anyway u have indicated that u wud b pissed off and admit it its true -in future u would be behave mature in such a case but its much better to tell u this...coz if it comes out of nowhere it hurts the relationship.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Just because a guy called her doesn't mean she was cheating!
How do you know that he isn't just a friend? Doesn't she have guys who are friends? There's nothing wrong with that as long as they're not snogging.
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A
female
reader, Rae1031 +, writes (10 October 2009):
Love and trust are two way streets and you are not totally wrong here. Your reaction was bad - very bad and you can not blame her for being upset because if you wanted to know who the guy was you should have just asked her. On the other hand, if the relationship between the two of you is suppose to be exclusive and this has been agreed upon by both of you then she should have told you about her friend. How would she have felt if the shoe was on the other foot and she found out about a female friend that you never mentioned to her. Even if you had told the other girl all about her,would she not feel a little bit hurt over the fact that you are confiding in another girl with details about her, but did not have enough respect for her to share this information with her. She may not have chosen to react in the same way you did, but she would have reacted. If you have already apologized for your actions and she is not willing to accept, then truth be told, this guy is probably more then just a friend and you have just given her the perfect excuse to see how things go with him, while she keeps you on the back burner "just in case". The only way to find out for sure what her true intentions are is to completely agree with her. Call her up and tell her that you understand why she can no longer trust you and perhaps it would be better if you both just moved on. Don't be nasty, just be to the point and get off the phone quick. DO NOT ALLOW HER TO PUT THE BALL BACK IN HER OWN COURT. Even if she calls you back 100 times begging you to think about this, do not answer. If all she is doing is keeping you on the back burner because she is not quite sure about letting you go, she will loose the other guy and be over your place within the next 24 hours. The thought of you with somebody else when she is not yet ready to let you go, will drive he completely out of her mind, just as she is doing to you right now. If she loves you, she would not let you suffer like this and she will not let you go. If she really don't care then it is much better that you find out now. Let me know how it goes.
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