A
female
age
41-50,
*eckylegs
writes:Hi I had never been with a girl ever an then met someone in jan this year!! Fell for her head over heels an gave her my heart. An she used me and then dropped me in April to go back to her ex who had done the same to her!!! But I haven't moved on with anyone since cos I was so messed up !!! And now I'm getting myself together again and doing well she wants to be in my life again !!!! But I also know this because things are not going as planned with the ex she broke my heart for!!!! But although my head is telling to get real !!! My heart is longing for her and I know my heart is stronger than my head !!!! What do I do???? I've already lost so much over this person and don't think I could go through that again but know I'm still in lovd with her please help x
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (20 October 2012):
 Well do you want to be second best or do you want to be someone's first choice? She is only coming back because the person she LEFT YOU for dumped her, so now all of the sudden you are good enough. I wouldn't go back because I have some self respect. I'd reccomend you don't go back either. Aside from that you are finally starting to heal, don't get back in the situation with someone that doesn't care and have it hurt all over again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012): Give her a second chance. But start off slowly, like make each other friends first then wait and see what will happen.
If you care for her, why would you allow this opportunity to pass you by, we all have our stupid moments, if this could be yours, so be it.
After all, we only live once.. It takes two to tango, if you let her enter your life again, make sure you forgot what she have done in the past.
Otherwise, you'll go back where you left things yesterday..
Good luck..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012): Don't take her back.I was in exactly the same situation. I was 34, never been with a woman, had a girlfriend etc. I met someone who was coming out of a lousy (so she said) relationship. We got together, I fell head over heels in love with her. She was my first for everything. After six months she left me without any warning and went back to her ex. She wouldn't talk to me, wanted nothing to do with me and told me she had no feelings for me. I was destroyed, I couldn't get her out of my mind.Six months on she'd split with her ex and she suddenly wanted to know me again. I made the mistake of taking her back. For a while it was wonderful, just like we'd been before. We were talking marriage, kids, moving in together. Then I found out she was cheating on me with her ex. I couldn't believe it, the pain second time around was worst than the first.My advice is to move on. Block her number and never have anything to do with her again. You can take a chance on her, but if she ever cared for you, she'd never have treated you like she did. She knows that you'll do as a standby. If she's single for a while, she can always hook up with you until someone better comes along. Don't let her use you, believe me, it isn't worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012): I would leave her alone, she is bad news, if she broke your heart once she will do it again, she knows she messed you up big time and didn't care, she's a very cold hearted person, only care about her own feelings, don't get bit by the same snake, you're too good for her.Be very careful with some of these women because they can play a good game just to get what they want and move on to the next guy. Remember the old saying...It's not what I can do for you, it's what you can do for me!! I always say when a person can break off a relationship just like that, that person didn't love you in the first place, same thing happened to my son, she dropped my son after 2.5 years and she didn't feel a pain and didn't care how my son felt, my son was messed up just like you but you have to go on. Now she's using a guy 10 years younger than her.Forget about what you did for her because that's done now. If you took her back you will not be at peace with yourself, you will always keep your guards up not knowing her next move. You sound like a very nice guy that wasn't running around with every Sally and Sue. All you wanted was a nice lady to be with, someone you can make happy, and someone that can make you happy but she knew you was a nice guy and she knew she could use you.I feel that a man should really get to know a women first before pouring out a lot of money, taking her to dinner or a movie is ok. My brother and his girlfriend struggle together to make ends meet and after 40 years they are still together so whenever you meet a women cut off the giving and see if she still loves you.I hope you do not take her back. You will get thru this, we all have down time in life.
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A
female
reader, iargwath +, writes (20 October 2012):
 I would be very cautious about going back to somebody who treats your heart like a yo-yo. She obviously has very little regard for your feelings, and you've really got to consider if its worth being with somebody like that.
My answer would be to not go back to her. Look after yourself, there are plenty of women out there who will treat you right. Best of luck my friend!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (20 October 2012):
 Hi
I know its hard but I wouldn't go back,for your own sake.You would always doubt her,wonder if she might leave again when her ex snaps his fingers.Don't be her fall-back man.
Your getting yourself together and doing well which proves you can survive without her.Its your choice ultimately and she was your first love.But there are many women out there and one of THEM could be your future wife.
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