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She left me because I don't want kids

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 June 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2013)
A male South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been with the same girl for 12 years. She would like to have a baby. I really don't want kids. She has left me now to carry on with her life. It was a really painfull breakup. And I feel really guilty about my choises. She chose me to have a baby. And I messed up her plans. Is it selfish of me.... Its a child. Another life. Not just a puppy that you can sell or give away. I'm really confused about this. All could have been saved if only I changed my mind about a child. But I really don't want kids... Am I wrong?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 June 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntNo. You're not "wrong".... There's really no "wrong" or "right" in the picture that you painted.... there's simply differing expectations of what you, two, wanted in life....

Now.... go on with your life... wish her luck in her's.... and that's the end of the matter...

Good luck...

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (26 June 2013):

There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. But if you truly love your ex you need to let her go. She has made a decision that is important to her, respect it.

I also respect your decision. You don't want kids. There is nothing wrong with that. Having a child is a huge responsibility. It is something that should not be taken lightly. Enjoy your life and find someone who agrees with you and your choices.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013):

The decision to have children is one of the most important choices you'll ever make in your life.

She made the right decision to leave, and you made the right choice to refuse to be a father against your will.

Now you know how important having children is to her,and it is good she realized you shouldn't have a child with a man who doesn't want to be a father.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (26 June 2013):

Aunty BimBim agony auntNo, you are not wrong, and neither is she. All you can do is wish her well and hope she finds a man who wants the same things she does .... especially a man who wants children.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013):

you aren't wrong, and neither is she. You are just upset because you love her and she left you. If you had stayed together, one of you would have ended up unhappy, and thats not fair for either of you.

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