A
male
age
18-21,
*damB
writes:I'll try to make this as short as possible, but I might have trouble...I have been kinda seeing a girl for the past few months, who only recently came out of a long term relationship. I know you're probably thinking "rebound" but we did hit it off really well..This girl has been my best friend at uni for the past 3 years, and she only recently found out how I felt, but she was happy to hear it. She even said she had similar thoughts throughout our friendship but she would push it out of her head becuase she was taken.The reason for the breakup was because the guy was very abusive (not physically) and there was no passion left, nothing.Anyways things have been going ok, we have been getting closer and closer, but the problem is the ex has recently come back into the picture because apparently he's magically changed into a new person and promised her he'd do all these things.. And now shes confused about what she wants.Things are looking really bad now and it seems like she is leaning toward going back (he is literally her first EVERYTHING).She would tell me that its hard becuase she doesnt know if she can go through it all again, and can't just let go.I was heartbroken until last night, when she had something to tell me. She didn't wanna say because she said i'll think shes an idiot if she goes back, but i finally got it out of her.. She said she thinks she loves me. To me this makes no sense becuase the decision should be clear now. Now im at a loss because im so confused and have NO IDEA which way this is going to go. I don't know if she's scared of change, or what. I really want to be with this girl because i've been with different girls before but this one is different. It feels different, and right... So I want to fight for her.
View related questions:
best friend, heartbroken, her ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (24 November 2009):
 Then fight for her! remind her of why she left him in the first place, remind her of the abuse he dished out to her, and also remind her how happy she had been with you till he appeared in the picture.
For all she knows he may not have changed, abusers need to show they have got treatment, has he seen therapists does he have proof of that, cause we just don't remarkable change ourselves without some form of help, i would be pointing this out to her, cause to run back into the arms of an abuser who has not addressed his problems and doesn't have proof to back that up is just asking for trouble i feel.
I think she is being blinkered by his words, and it is very unfair to you to tell you she thinks she loves you , yet maybe wants to try with this other guy?
Gina
|
