A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Well, here's my situation, very recently broke up from my long term girlfriend. I will add that I have been emotionally and mental over this before I split.I had a date last night with a girl I like and I've been told she likes me. The date went well, plenty of chat, got to know a load about each other. Told her my situation and she told me she is having a little fling with someone but it's not going to go anywhere. She did ask me was I on the rebound. I explained that I don't have any feelings for my ex whatsoever.Her body language was hard to work out, arm folded sometimes, plenty of eye contact, twisting her hair.I asked her straight out would she come out again and she said she would.How do I proceed with this? I know she is very probably worried I'm rebounding.
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (29 July 2007):
 I wouldnt ignore her for a few days no. Keep in touch by txt or something? chat to her about just hanging out as mates if shes more comfy with that?c xxxxxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): thank you for this advice, should I leave contact for a few days or a week so as not to be hounding her? It is easy to say don't get too attached but what if you have really fallen for someone?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 July 2007):
I dated a guy for a year that was just coming out a 6 yr relationship when i met him. He too said he had stopped having feelings for his ex for a couple of years before he left. Playing the father role to his daughter since she was 11 & the fact her daughter had just had a baby was what made him stay.
Its weird though cuz the whole year i was with him i felt he was going through the motions, and eventually would go back.
We split recently because i never felt i could totally trust him.
I found out from him afterwards, he had been in touch with his ex all along (he always swore he wasnt) & did say it was only because of her daughter who is 18. But im 99% certain he will be back in her arms as im typing this, and it was only a month ago.
So im with the girl in question here, shes fully aware that you need some 'you' time before getting into anything else. And i dont blame her. I wouldnt go near a person again thats so soon out a relationship.
Any chance you can stay as mates for a while?
Although i dont suppose thats going to help.
Hope it works out.
C xxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): Well, in truth you are on the rebound, so take things slow with this girl if you want to see her again, and don't just date her, date some other women, I don't mean you have to sleep around, but date more than one person and try not to get too attached too quickly as that is classic rebound behavior....You don't owe her an explanation about your rebound, the more you talk about it the more worried she will be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI meant to say that I am "Emotionally and Mentally" not mental!
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