She is afraid to have a relationship with me in case she loses her support system

A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am friends with a girl. I haven't known her long. Just under a year. When we first met we talked about getting together but she was just trying to get out of a bad 5 year relationship. Since we started hanging out as friends she would tell me about her life and how bad she was treated by ehr mother. Alot of abuse of every kind has happened to her. She never had someone to rely on. She said I am her rock and backbone. Problem is I have fallen for her big time. She says we are only friends but I think she is afraid of losing the only person she has ever relied on. What if we went out and it didn't work out she feels she would lose her support system. But we are always together. She is not dating anyone but she is talking to guys. We constantly say we love each other and she has said I have done so much for her and she loves me with her whole heart. When we are apart we always text each other saying I miss you. But she tends to close herself off when a conversation gets serious. A friend of mine said she has convinced herself not to like you that way for fear of losing what she has in you. It's at the point where I can't hug her goodbye or kiss her on the cheek. She says it's because she doesn't like people all in her face or on her. But we used to hug and kiss goodbye. I really don't know what to do. If I tell her how I feel she will run away and hide. What we have right now is really great but it can be better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009):

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