A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My mother bought a condo a few years ago, which my fincee and I now live in, we give her the money for the mortgage (which is in her name) since we live here.Anyway, recently we've had some money issues, the car keeps breaking down, and Shaun had pheumonia twice in 2 months.So last week my mom called and said "I want my money in 24 hours or I'm going to evict you" So, even tho Shuan gets paid Bi/weekly and we didn't have the money yet, we wrote her a check because we have overdraft protection and knew the bank would cover it till he got paid.So, we contacted the bank, who said the check cleared and she had her money...so we decided to use the next check to fix the car once and for all so we could trade it in for another one and get a higher rate for trade in.Today I got an email from her asking when Shaun's next day off was because she wanted to talk to us. I called her and told her that he doesn't have a day off till maybe Tuesday, and asked her what she wanted.She said. "I need to sit down and talk to you and Shaun, and I'm not going to tell you what it's about till then."So now I'm just sitting here making myself crazy...my mom refuses to tell me what she wants, but the truth is she could sell the condo right out from under me, since it's hers.Shaun and I are doing everything we can to make ends meet, but with the car and my mom, we're fighting an uphill battle.We have no savings because it all went to the car, and I don't want to move because very few places if any will allow animals.I just want to cry I feel like she is diliberatly doing this to make me upsetWhy else wouldn't she just tell me?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Yeah, you are right, I wasn't seeing the big picture! She sounds unhealthy for you and she has victimized you since you were a minor.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol...let me see if I can explain this so you don't get confused. The CP I was born with, it affects my motor skills, reaction time and leg movements. It's a bit like, if my body was made of rubber bands they're pulled tightly and aren't able to relax.
The Vertigo I was diagnosed with when I was 15. I woke up one day and couldn't get out of bed because the room was spinning. There's no cure for it. Some days I'm just a little dizzy...others are worse.
The Neuropathy is from a leg surgery I had when my doctor was performing a heel cord extension so I could atleast walk, even if it was slowly.
Apparently they damaged the nerves, so now I have horrible pain in my lower legs and spasms, mostly at night when I am about to go to sleep...
I hope I kept that all straight :)
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Yes but there are programs that will aid you in a loan, and possible grants that will sustain you while you go back to school to get a higher education that will make you employable.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
The CP, does it effect one limbs, three, all four? One side of the body...
And the benign positional vertigo, and peripheral neuropathy are they apart of the CP or separate symptoms of a possible disorder?
Are you on disability because of the severity of CP?
Are you a part of a community support group?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can operate a PC, sure...but I can't go back to school. There are laws in MA for my disability payment that say if I make an attempt to go back to work...even if I just go to school, I must give up all my income from the state, including all food stamps, cash, and fuel assistance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm on disability...and no...I have cats, they're not service animals, unfortunatley....
my BF works, yes.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
So you seem more than competent to operate a pc; do you have a job that uses this strong skill effectively? Have you thought to go back to school to gain better work skills?
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
so are the pets also service animal related? If so, this should not interfere with housing and work related searches. It's a human rights violation for starters.
So both you and BF have jobs? Does he have a health issue that requires management as well?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat type? I have spastic CP, combine that with Benign positional vertigo, and peripheral neuropathy....
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
So what form of Cerebal Palsy do you have?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol...
If it were that simple...
I'm disabled...born with CP, it takes YEARS to get into subsidized housing..and I mean 6-7 years minimum....
I'm not playing the victim..I'm playing the cards I was delt. An alchoholic abusive mother, a severe disability....sometimes it's not so simple...
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
Alright so why don't you stop being a victim and stop relying on someone so abusive and unreliable.
Cut the ties for a year. Get yourself in order. Work from the inside out.
Get some individual counselling. Find somewhere cheaper to rent, put an ad on the internet looking for x bedroom apt, house, townhome to rent, between x-x dollars for rent. Must be pet friendly.
Look for higher paying jobs. Look into moving to another state that has better prospects.
It's a new beginning.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually askoldersister..yes, it was her fault I was homeless. She threw me out at 16 (in the middle of the night, mind you) because her then BF didn't like me, and she was scared to be alone.
It wasn't until I was 23 that she asked me to move here. at which point she had another boyfriend who was more inclined to stand up to her about what she did.
I respect your opinions, honestly I do...but not every mother is loving or caring to there children...sometimes, as in my case, it is the completely reversed.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (29 July 2008):
 Whoops, I beg your pardon for assuming this was a dead issue.
Sounds like you and your mother have a very toxic relationship, yet you stay entwined with each other.
At this point, with the housing situation the way it is, I expect there are many properties which may now be on the rental market that will allow pets, maybe it's time to pursue those?
Unless you have a small zoo, you should be able to find something that will be suitable, I think it will just take some perserverance. And don't be afraid to ask about pets, even if the ad says 'no pets'. If you don't ask, you'll never know, the worst that can happen is that they say 'no'.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (29 July 2008):
I guess you being homeless was your mother's fault too? Just a guess. Hope everything worked out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol...ummmmm
this is an OLD one. But anyways, I refuse to get rid of my animals regardless, it's just not going to happen.
and my mother had been charging us 400$ more a month than the actual mortgage and just pocketing it...so Askoldersister, maybe you should look at the whole picture, my mother is not some saintly woman, the only reason she moved me here was because her boyfriend guilted her into it when she was going to buy a summer house and I was homeless...I didn't come to her...she came to ME, because her boyfriend threatened to leave her if she didn't help me....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (29 July 2008):
Pssst! Hey guys! Look at the original date of the question. January 2007, they've resolved whatever they're going to by now....
I wonder how this one got resurrected?
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (29 July 2008):
She's doing this to upset you? Good grief. If it were anyone but your own dear mother, you guys would probably be evicted and have even worse credit on your report. How about you thank her for saving your ass? And your boyfriend, what loyalty exactly should she have to him?!
I'm sorry you are upset but your mother is not your enemy. I'm not sure why 2 grown adults can't meet rent and the daily expenses in life but there is a good reason and it's not your mother. You don't want to move because of your pets? So your pets are more important than treating your mother with respect and honoring a commitment to her? I can see why you guys are in the mess you are financially, your priorities are mixed up!
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
Seriously, if you HAVE to live somewhere else...the pets will need to go. The pets should not prevent you from being financially secure.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (29 July 2008):
Making ends meet.
Sometimes, we must re-assess our lifestyle and make some changes in our habits.
One of the first, and hard decisions to make, that was apparent to me, was the pets.
How much is the monthly bills of keeping pets? How much could you save by giving them to a loving,stable home?
What about any habits like smoking, drinking?
What about hair salon visits, nail salon visits?
How much do you spend on entertainment a month?
How often do you eat out?
Do you have a working budget?
This is how much money we make a Month.
This is our bills: rent, power, gas, water, car insurance, fuel for car, money set aside for car fix ups and tune ups, groceries...
The thing about a budget is STICKING TO IT!!
10% should be put to savings every month. 20% if you can swing it.
The rest is working income to pay bills and live off of.
Put the bills in priority.
See what can be "missed" one month but paid double the next, in an emergency, like fixing the car.
Also, if the car breaks down too much, see what it would take to upgrade to another car that is more reliable yet affordable.
How about riding a bike to work, or walking, or busing it, whenever you can, and save the car for immediate needs?
If the car is for work-definitely consider upgrading it.
Speaking to a financial adviser about your money/income to see how much money you COULD/SHOULD have to put towards savings or a car loan should be thought over.
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