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male
age
36-40,
*aggis87
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been goin out for 8 months, for the last 3 months its been pretty bad. In November i learnt that she had been cheating on me with my best friend! She said it was because i had been keeping her at arms length. Anyway we both wanted to work things out, but he was always around as a "friend" and she made that clear to me. I didnt like this and things didnt get much better. Just b4 christmas i found out they had slept together and the arguements have come pouring back. The latest one ,yesterday, was because I got angry because I found a bag of his in her room, she said that I was jumping to conclusions and that I was in the wrong. The next day i went round with flowers to find the two of them playing around in her bed! she said nothing had happened, but she had already promised me that he would never sleep over again. I dont want to give up on her, but I am the bad guy in this even though he is always there and has made it public that he is not backing off! what should I do?
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male
reader, haggis87 +, writes (14 January 2007):
haggis87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe has always said that she wants to be with me and she just wants me to be my old self again. But is that possible with him always being around???? I walked round to hers to find his car parked outside! I didnt bother to go in as both of us have said we are having a few days break to think about things.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 You haven't said what your girlfriend wants. I think it's absolutely fantastic that you still want to be with her, despite how much she's hurt you but I think you need to know that if she doesn't want to stay in the relationship you have to let her go, no matter what you want. I really hope things work out for you both but you need to have a serious talk about what you both want here. Hope this helps.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2007): Hey little man, get your self-esteem back in check! Your best friend really sucks. Seriously, if you have a best friend like that, I highly encourage you to meet more people, and find new friends. Rather disgusting actually.
ON TOP OF THAT, come on! What are you doing with this girl? In what manner of mental solidity have you chosen this b*tch to be your girlfriend - or may I say, lack thereof. What are you thinking? I mean, the red flags are all waving wildly in the storm. The sirens are wailing until your ear-drums rip apart and blood is squirting non-stop every where. MY GOSH boy! If you won't back off from this grotesque 'relationship' of yours, I say, you so deservingly deserve to be treated like crap.
In short, you don't want to give her up because.................................................. (and the dots continue forever)
[ahem]
You must have hugely decayed self-esteem, or you would have gotten OUT of this relationship 3 months ago. Basically, I say, reaffirm your own internal strengths before you dive into another intimate relationship of any kind. If you have no solid foundation of yourself, you have nothing. Letting some 'best friend' and some b*tch treat you like that?!?!?!?! [shaking my head and sighing at you]
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