A
male
age
51-59,
*anno999
writes:I want to know if anyone has ever played around with this – I am a 41 year old man… recently married a beautiful 27 year old woman. We are very much in love…trying to have a child together. We have a great sex life…but we are both on the adventurous side sexually. We have been talking about the possibility of a 3some in bed and we both get off on it. It would be me, my wife and another guy bc that is the only way she’d be into it. I am 100% straight…but the animal instincts kick in and I an just INSANE with lust for my wife knowing thinking of, for example, her giving oral to another man. It’s the competition factor… you know… she gets off doing something to someone else and it makes me lust for her so bad to prove I am still in the driver’s seat. We have not done anything “for real” yet…but I have told one of my friends about it…and we all exchanged #’s and have been doing 3-way sexting. He sends her photos of his “unit” and she SO gets off on it. (he is very well endowed). We sext about what she’d do to both of us if we were ever in a 3 way, etc etc. Let me re-emphasize… I am not even a little bi… yet it really turns me on! (and her too) As long as we keep this as sex games…. can it be pulled off without hurting the relationship? I always remind her how much I love and treasure her… and that this is all just “sex play”. She seems like she can really separate the two (love and sex). Anyway, we are getting to the point where we are talking about web-chat as a next step (she wants to watch him masturbate while we do our thing). Then possibly the next step eventually (taking it slow) would be for her to give him oral while I do her. I love her dearly and we are having fun. I would not want to risk what we have for anything tho. Thoughts?
View related questions:
sex life, threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 if she"s seen his unit and gets off on it she is sure as hell going to try it....with or without you. you started the ball rolling so you have to follow it through.
but i wonder why she wont let you try mff?. why cant she agree to that.good luck.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Hot fantasy - yes.
Playing with fire - also yes.
Threesomes of any sort where two people out of the three are committed to each other are dicey at best and definitely not recommended. Do a search around DearCupid and you'll find some stories about people that have done it and in most cases regretted it later.
That's not to say a MMF is not potentially a lot of fun. I've definitely enjoyed mine and your wife will too. But it's always been with people who weren't looking for commitment. In a marraige...the chances of this going through without negative consequences are very, very low.
...............................
A
male
reader, mb129 +, writes (21 September 2010):
Hmm, you said the only way she'd be into it is if it's another guy. Well then, you certainly warmed up to the idea so maybe she would warm up to the idea of a threesome with another girl. I mean what's fair is fair right? Of course that's the only way she'd be "into it" because that's the scenario where she is the one benefiting. I envy the situation you are in and would say that it would only be fair if you could benefit in the same way she would. Of course you could play it saying that you are "getting off" on the fight for her but really we all know that she is getting the better end of the deal here.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Hello!
Im glad you came forth with this question. I, personally, since you have such an emotion attached to your wife, you could possibly risk something bad for your relationship if another guy is brought in for this fantasy. For example, what if he lies about his sexual past and brings a disease to both of you possibly? What if she enjoys him more than you? What kind of possible consequences could happen afterwards? I, myself, because of the small risks involved emotionally I would completely stay away to protect the relationship. Even if she wanted to do it. I wouldnt engage in any sexual activity like that, unless I was pulling a Charlie Harper on a malibu beachfront, ya dig? No strings attached, no emotional risk, just having fun. That way the pressure is off and everyone at the end of the day doesnt have to worry about any emotional attachment. Best to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Mugzie69 +, writes (20 September 2010):
 If you are for real (and who knows on the internet), then yes. You are playing with fire. Of course, fire can be really, really fun. On the other hand, why would you suppose that you would ever be in the driver seat? As I've said before, when a guy does a married woman, he intends to prove something. He's going all out to prove that he is the MAN.
Fire? Yes.
But again, fire can be really, really fun.
It's up to you three...
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (20 September 2010):
Hi there. It's great that you have a pretty good relationship - now - and that you have a good sex life also.
As exciting as taking part in a threesome sounds, it would definitely present problems down the track. It's ok and fairly safe whilst ever it remains only a fantasy, but even the fact you are seriously considering actually going through with it fairly soon, it is inviting trouble.
Yes, you are both definitely playing with fire, there's no doubt about that whatsoever.
Supposing you go ahead to getting into bed (the 3 of you), and do lots of stuff and have fun. This isn't so much the problem part - it's what happens later that's going to cause real problems.
The consequences, and there will definitely be negative consequences.
What happens if she takes a shine to this other man, then gets tempted to contact him when you are at work and then takes it a step further and actually gets together with him behind your back? Have you actually thought about that?
If you haven't, you really need to. There's a very real chance that could happen, no matter how much she believes she wouldn't do it. You just never know what will happen down the track.
The fact that you are kind of in agreement in thinking about it in the first place, you are both planting that seed of thought for the floodgates to open into so much more. You really don't want to go down that path.
It really is inviting her to become unfaithful, as she will be tempted just by you allowing her to be with another man right in front of you.
Sometimes, fantasies are best left as just that - in the imagination. Besides, the mind is the most powerful organ in the arousal process anyway.
You risk a whole lot more by going ahead with the 3-some. Just keep the fantasy as a fantasy. Or, you could vary your sex life by making love in different places, not just in bed. Perhaps, you could add variety to your sex life that way. It could definitely be just as much fun.
Also, if you go ahead with the 3-some thing, it could then lead to trust issues - you not trusting her. That's another important thing to consider.
Please have a very serious rethink about it all. There's likely to be more negatives than positives.
The worst case scenario, you break up over it, because you feel you can't trust her anymore.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
...............................
A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (20 September 2010):
playing with fire? Yes!
Do-able without getting burned? also yes.
This is a very dangerous thing to experiment with, the road is quite full of potholes that you won't see coming. That being said, if you discuss it thoroughly, discuss the pros, cons, potential pitfalls, honestly discuss each others insecurities, etc. You can navigate this sort of experience successfuly.
It is, nonetheless, dangerous water to try and sail.
Finally, I would suggest that you have a good talk with her about equality. If she gets a MMF, there's no reason you shouldn't expect that a FMF is in the future. If she can't be ok with that, you should probably put the brakes on. Even if you never follow through with that side of the experience, her response to the idea will tell you both a lot about her reasons, securirties, and motivations in this situation.
...............................
A
female
reader, Nata13 +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Definatly playing with fire... While you and your wife may have a fantastic relationship, and its all fun and games at this point, it takes a very special set of people to do this sort of thing and make it work. There are issues of jealousy, inadequacy, and plain old attention shift to worry about. There is the possibility (especially if you are in close contact with this guy) that she could fall for him. There is a chance that she could just become dissatisfied with just you, after she has had a taste of other men. And then there is your take on it to worry about. And his. You seem to be fine with it now (indeed, all about it!) That could change in any number of ways (I particularly see the potential for jealousy issues) And what happens if this guy decides he likes this, but it isnt enough?
Of course, maybe Im a pessimist, and you could have nothing to worry about. Ultimately, you have to do what you think is right and you are comfortable with. There are risks associated with what you are doing, but sometimes it works out just fine. Just watch out for these things, and take it slow.
Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, escribanus +, writes (20 September 2010):
 You are playing with fire, you should ask for proffesional help because of your lust for seeing her giving a blowjob to another man. I think she doesn't want to do that but she can't find a way to tell you directly so she ask for something she thought you wouldn't accept.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): The fantasy is better than the reality and i would keep it that way if you want to keep your wife
...............................
|
