A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need abit of advice from any parents or people who have recently moved out of their parents house. My boyfriend has his own house, shared with a house mate at the moment, and it is alot closer to my work than my parents house where I live. Over the last couple of weeks I have been working alot of extra shifts (covering for another staff members holiday) and have basically stayed at my boyfriends house every night except 1 or 2. His house mate annouced a few weeks ago that he is moving out and we talked about us two moving in together when this happens but its not something I have talked to my parents about yet. After spending so much time together over the last couple of weeks, me and my boyfriend both think I may as well just move in now but I don't know whether to go and talk to my parents and just say 'X's house mate is moving out and we were thinking of moving in together when he leaves but things have been so good over the last few weeks and with me spending so much time there recently we don't see any point in waiting' or something along those lines, and move in straight away. Or over the next few weeks do I go and spend a few nights a week at home like I used to before working extra shifts, and tell my parents I will be moving out in a few weeks. Most of my things are at my boyfriends house already so it would be easiest to just stay from now on plus I'm really looking forward to actually living with him properly but I don't want to upset my parents and be disrespectful by making them feel like I'm just walking away without giving them chance to come to terms with it.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Sorry I dont really understand what the problem is here? Why would your parents have a problem with you moving in with your boyfriend? Are you very young or something? Have you only been with your boyfriend a short period of time? Is this is a religious/cultural issue?
Because from what you have said here, you spend a lot of time at your boyfriend's house, you want to move in with him so you are going to do so. Now the majority of parents would be happy for you, so I dont see why there is an issue? Unless you are very young, they dislike your boyfriend, they are very strict and dont believe in living together before marriage, there is some religious/cultural issue, or perhaps you have only been with your boyfriend a few months and they will think its too soon.
But if you really are 22-25 then you are an adult so you can do what you like and live where you like! I have lived with 2 guys (currently living with my boyfriend of 20 months) and in both cases simply told my parents, and they were pleased for me. There is no 'coming to terms with it' because you are an adult and you can do what you want, in fact most parents would be glad to see the back of their 22-25 year old child if they are still living at home! They dont want their kids hanging around forever, most people move out aged 18 so I'm sure they will be happy for you to move out so they can finally have a child free house, they can enjoy being adults again with no kids to care for, they will have more money and more time and freedom.
So unless there are some reasons you have not mentioned, you are really just making an issue out of nothing!
Good luck!
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