A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in need of some serious help/advice. I need to know how I can spice things up in the bedroom with my husband. Lately our sex life has gone down hill, he can't last like he used to and half the time he doesn't even seem interested anymore. For example, I'll want to fool around and I'll get him aroused and there have been times where he just rolls over and goes to sleep without even getting off. Also when we do things he seems to have no reaction. So what can I do to improve things between us sexually?
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (14 September 2011):
 I agree with what many of my fellow commentors said. And communicating in this situation should be the NUMBER 1 thing that you should do. You should always keep an open line of communication anyway with your partner, so you can have a good relationship. But try to find out what's going on with him. If it's just the spark that is lacking then you may want to...1. Try role-playing. Go in or out of character.* To Go In- Dress up like a nurse, schoolgirl, cop, etc. * To Go Out- you may naturally be submissive in bed, in this case you may want to act more dominant (or vice versa). Take control and see how he reacts. 2. Dress sexy. Surprise your man by wearing sexy lingerie and have a candlelit bedroom. Many men are visual creatures, so this may appeal to him. 2. Encourage more foreplay. You and/or your guy can use your tongue and hands more for extra pleasure during sex. Try to incorporate foreplay food also (such as small fruit, honey, chocolate, or whipped cream)for a more enjoyable experience.Hope this helps! :^)
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Wow thsi guy is totally taking you for granted. Id start by not assuming anything, and just talk to the guy and figure it out. Communication is key in any relationship and prob moreso in a marriage. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 We men are somewhat complex at times. Normally, you just need to show up nude,bring beer and don't block the TV but sometimes our testosterone levels are not what they used to be. read the Karma Sutra together in bed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): Men can be very sensitive about this, if he's having some sort of issue with that area. So, I agree to talk to him if he will talk, (some won't.)
But maybe try some new lingerie, something really spicey like with the high stockings, etc. Maybe some oils or lotions and give an intimate massage, like surprise him. Maybe do the whole "romantic getaway" if you can. Even if you just get a room in town for a night, something away from the same old thing. Or offer to watch some porn with him, I know that may seem odd, but you can use it to find new things to try.
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A
female
reader, rile962 +, writes (12 September 2011):
Try to ask him what's going on with him. If he's worried about it, as well, he should probably go to the doctor to rule out a physical cause. He may have something going on at work or elsewhere that is making him very stressed out and "not in the mood." Otherwise, there might be a problem in the relationship that is making him feel less willing in the bedroom. In short, a serious conversation might be more in order rather than lingerie or a new position.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Well first of all you need to TALK TO HIM and ask him what's changed....
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