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anonymous
writes: Hi,I have been married to a wonderful woman for 22 years, she means the world to me and my 2 children, we are both now 43.My problem is, she doesn't want to have sex anymore, she said the problem is not with me, and that if I wanted to have sex again she would leave.I have asked her if there is anything wrong with her and she said no, she just does not want to have sex anymore she said she did'nt like it and she only done it to please me.We only had sex every two weeks or so, its not as if I was demanding it, or expecting it on tap. I enjoy it and I would never go with anyone else because I still love my wife, I don't feel ready to give up my sex life, we are both young 40's and enjoy each others company.WHAT HAS GONE WRONG?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (18 January 2005):
 When you were making love with your wife, did you believe that she enjoyed it or did you ever get the feeling that she was only doing it to please you? You say that you enjoyed it but do you really believe that she did too?? Consider how she responded to you. If you feel that she did gain pleasure from sex with you then you need to examine any possible causes for her loss of sex drive. Could it perhaps be stresses and strains of everyday life? Maybe a hormonal problem? I think you need to say to your wife that it is very important for you to both to sit down and talk about this. Remind her how important making love is in terms of intimacy and closeness and how you would miss this part of your relationship. Ask her to confide in you of any aspects of your marriage that she isn't happy with.Romancing your wife, without her feeling any pressure to make love, may help to relax her. A candlelit dinner and soft music may help her communicate better with you.Perhaps you need to add some spice to your relationship by surprising her with little love notes or gifts.Reassure her that you still find her to be a beautiful and attractive woman. However, remind her that for you both not to be intimate again would make you feel very unhappy and that though you don't want to loose her and would never be unfaithful, the thought of never making love again with her troubles you greatly.I do hope this helps.
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