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anonymous
writes: i have been in a relationship now for 18 months and although he is fantastic and couldnt fault him in any way he has a big problem with premature ejaculation, ive printed stuff off the computer about this & know that it is normal, me & my boyfriend are very open & tell each other everything, he says that im the only girl he has this problem with. he says that i turn him on in a big way, ive always tried my best to make love making a fun as possible, should i feel flattered or upset that its just me that he's done it with, what am i doing wrong? how can i try & help him with overcome this?
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 January 2005):
 Hi there,I'm going to go with 'flattered'; after all, he isn't really complaining about your being so uncontrollably attractive, is he?I doubt very much if you're doing anything wrong, in fact, it sounds like you're doing everything unbelievably right...for him. However, the premature ejaculation, if it's happening every time, might be getting a little old after 18 months, and you both might want to move beyond it.A little research on the web will turn up a whole lot of creams and treatments that claim to work miracles, but before you do that, you can try having sex in different positions, which sometimes helps men to master the sensation a little more. Another method that some people have success with is having him masturbate a little while before you have sex, so that he's not so tense. There are also breath control exercises for him, which are meant to help distract him from the stimulation for a longer while. Google the terms "men's health" and "premature ejaculation" and disregard anything that wants you to send money. You also should encourage him to get a referral to a urologist, just to ensure that there isn't any organic problem that needs to be addressed.Hope that this is of some assistance.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (19 January 2005):
 You aren't doing anything wrong and you obviously do indeed turn your boy-friend on in a big way but on the other hand, this can be a little unsatisfying sometimes. I think he has become very performance conscious and you need to ease the pressure a little. Try not having intercourse at all and instead masturbate him and keep stopping so that he learns to control his own orgasm. If you do have intercourse and he orgasms quickly, give it a short while and do it again. Hopefully the second time he shouldn't come as quickly. Despite the fact that he does suffer from premature ejaculation, remember to still make foreplay a very important part of your lovemaking. Help him to also focus on your enjoyment which may take the pressure off him.Always keep the communication going between you and I reckon you will get there in the end!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (19 January 2005):
You aren't doing anything wrong and you obviously do indeed turn your boy-friend on in a big way but on the other hand, this can be a little unsatisfying sometimes. I think he has become very performance conscious and you need to ease the pressure a little. Try not having intercourse at all and instead masturbate him and keep stopping so that he learns to control his own orgasm. If you do have intercourse and he orgasms quickly, give it a short while and do it again. Hopefully the second time he shouldn't come as quickly. Despite the fact that he does suffer from premature ejaculation, remember to still make foreplay a very important part of your lovemaking. Help him to also focus on your enjoyment which may take the pressure off him.Always keep the communication going between you and I reckon you will get there in the end!
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