A
female
age
41-50,
*atnip
writes:At this moment I am feeling at my lowest. Lots of things are happening , my marriage is breaking down for many reasons , you may even see my previous post about a situation that had made me feel very insecure. This not just the reason there is a bigger picture before this. My husband and I have tried very hard but he is very difficult and has a temper. He wont get help with me so I'm at a loss now. I've become more and more anxious and just feel I have no confidence. I've lost some friendships, people who I thought would be there for me are not . That hurts but I know it's the way things are sometimes. I don't have close family such as a mum or siblings. I have two children with my husband . We have talked about separation now . I feel so isolated and alone. I feel very low. How can I pick myself up again My children need a strong confident mama but my husband words and name calling have worn me down. How can I believe in myself again.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2020): You've gotten excellent advice in the previous answers.
I want to add something that most people tend to overlook. Sometimes you have to feed the spirit; and you need to receive spiritual-counseling through a theological source. Whatever worship you grew-up with, seek some faith-counseling from a local ministry. Be it a rabbi, imam, priest, or a christian ministry. Touch base and connect with God! A little prayer and lifting of the soul never hurts. You may not receive such advice too often; but the heart, the mind, and the soul needs attention.
We always think of the mind and body. We never consider that which is deeper within ourselves.
A little quite prayer and meditation in a quite place; just to be alone with your Creator does a lot of good. Cry and bare your soul to Him. He is loving and compassionate. If you don't believe, that's fine. Then you can just ignore this advice. When I got dumped, prayer and turning to God accelerated my recovery; because I had to dig deeper than just my emotions and feelings. I returned to my faith and worship. It helped me through many challenges and hardships. I had to turn to someone greater than anything or anyone on earth. He listened and responded. I am well in my soul.
Even if you don't believe, I can say a prayer for you; and ask the Lord to comfort you, and give you strength, and direction as you undergo this difficult time in your life. That he watch over you and your children. That He protects you from harm, and help you to find your way.
I hope this doesn't offend you, it is meant with sincerity and compassion.
God bless you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2020): You will be surprised at your own resilience.
But you can't expect to envision a bright future when you feel unwell in yourself so you need to nurture yourself as much as possible.
On the positive side you have two healthy youngsters to focus on as well as yourself.
You must never give in!
You are useful as a mother even if you are just a voice on the phone asking:"how's it going..What are you up to these days! "
Kids grow up and you are still their mother even when you see less of them!
As for your partner's anger issues I think you should be glad to be free and know that in time the 'real you' will return.
Don't forget to cite his anger issues as emotional abuse in the divorce.
And look up YouTube and tap in 'living with a narcissist!'
And see what comes up and follow the trail.
You will be surprised.
You are left feeling drained and dejected and maybe even financially wiped out because that's what narcissists do.
They use you as a stepping stone to getting what they want and they intend to leave you exhausted.
So check out that side of the story and see that a little quiet time without him will help you to heal, and restore your optimism and top up your levels of hope in life.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 February 2020):
 First visit a lawyer and find out where you will stand legally. Secondly see your GP and talk about your mental health, ask if he can refer you to a qualified counsellor. If he offers you some anti depressants to help you during this time seriously consider taking them, ask him if how he intends weening you off them in about 12 months time (if it is deemed necessary).
Try and find a support group, a women's group or a craft group, or even some sort of night class to get you back in the habit of socialising and being with people.
There are a lot of people who have been through the same or similar, find your tribe, and then start becoming the newer improved you. You can do this!
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