A
male
age
51-59,
*iredDog
writes:Hi everyone.I've been with my partner for ten years now. We don't have any children, and we have had our differences. However, by and large everything is good. Trouble is that she work with a male coworker who has always had a crush on her. I've never minded before, and it's been an ego boost for her as he's 23 and she's 35. Before his attentions were just nice and sweet. However, for the past few months she's been going through some issues with her physical health which is getting her down. And she says she's starting to really feel her age. I've noticed during this time that her involvement with this younger man has increased even more (not full on cheating at this stage, but definitely an emotional reliance). She admits that she turns to him to get the ego boost she feels she needs more than ever, but that i have nothing to worry about. The problem is I am concerned. I love her, and I know she loves me, but I just don't like where this relationship with her coworker is heading. Am i just being paranoid. How can i nip it in the bud so to speak? We both know she's having a hard time, but i want to make sure it doesn't ruin our relationship! Should i ask her to stop communicating with this other man (outside of work).
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Who intitiates the out of work hours contacts? Him or her? If its your partner you need to be honest with her and let her know how you feel.
Even if she has some health issues she still needs to recognise your feelings, ask her to acknowledge how you feel and to limit her contacts.
I am assuming the contacts are by phone, text, email etc, if its face to face and you are not invited you already have a bigger problem than you think. If they are making plans to meet face to face just invite yourself along with them, act dumb but be stubborn. If you get hints you are not invited I would start to ask the hard questions.
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