A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in my final year of college before I go to university. Last year, I was confident that I would meet someone and pursue a relationship. Long story short, I was rejected by five girls within four months. Maybe I was too desperate, maybe I'm not interesting enough to attract girls that I'm attracted to. I have not asked a girl out in about seven months and I have anxiety made worse by those serial rejections.I hate to think that I've got a repulsive personality or that I'm too picky, but I can't stop blaming myself for failing. I can't even meet new girls I am attracted to without feeling nervous and wanting to get away, like I don't trust myself to make a good first impression anymore.The reason this is eating at me so much is if I can't even kiss a girl who I find attractive when I'm a teenager... How the hell am I supposed to meet someone when I'm in my twenties? I'll be past my sell-by date and dreadfully inexperienced.What can I do to change my situation?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): There could have been a number of reasons why those girls were not interested in dating you, such as they were not looking for a relationship or were simply after someone else. Don't put all the blame on you if you don't know what was going on in their lives, not every attempt will be a success!
Secondly, nervousness is all part of the experience, there is not much you can do about it except to try and be confident, even though you have been rejected in the past.
You seem like you have your heart in the right place and if you act confident, I'm sure you will meet a lovely girl who is equally interested in you. In the meantime, just have fun, try not to put so much pressure on yourself and be casual about these things. If you can relax, and if you can laugh at yourself sometimes, you can put people at ease and they will see you in a positive way.
I suggest joining in clubs, groups, events etc where you will meet lots of new people, and where you will instantly have some common ground to talk about.
There will be lots of these opportunities at university and lots of single girls your age from all over the country!
Also, don't worry so much about the whole experience thing. most of the time experience = baggage, which isn't any sort of advantage.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, nononsense  +, writes (16 February 2011):
Lower the bar brother. Find the least attractive or even less attractive girl you are willing to go out with and ask her out. Dont worry, its nothing permanent. Work your way up from there to a more attractive girl. You will learn. Look up Cee Lo Green on YOUTUBE and listen to his song "Fuck You". That will cheer you up. Your problem is that you have not blossomed my friend. You are young and inexperienced and have a long way to go. I remember feeling horrible when I asked a girl to dance and she turned me down. This will pass buddy. Years from now you will look back and laugh at this.
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