A
female
age
30-35,
*yeshaH
writes:hi i am 21 years old and recently i met a 31 year old guy online. we got talking and i liked him.for a month we talked almost every day for a few hours however, we weren't able to arrange a meeting because he lived a good distance away. but we started sending each other raunchy pics and chatting over webcam and he really talked dirty to me.however one day he just stopped contacting me. i was quite worried something had happened because he wasnt answering the phone.he finally texted a week later saying his ex had come to see him and he didnt know what to say to me.but then he did the same thing again and finally i lost patience and told him to delete all the stuff i sent. he apologised and said he just needed time to think things over but had really loved chatting to me.so i left him alone to think but just the other day i noticed he was back on the dating site i met him on and listed as single.i am really hurt by this. but at the same time miss him and want to contact him to ask whats going on.was he just using me? and should i confront him?thank you for taking the time to read thisAyesha
View related questions:
his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 July 2011):
 There's nothing wrong in wanting to try something new, but same, as ( hopefully ) you'd be prudent in real life , like- hopefully, you would not follow home someone you just met and whom you don't know anything about, you have to be prudent- and DISCRIMINATING - on line too, which you have forgot to be.Make sure you learn from this mistake, and don't let people take advantage of your eagerness and, pardon me, naivety.
As for confront him, no, don't waste your time, it's not like you have lost anything appreciable. I think you miss the attention, and the excitement of getting closer to a new person,not the man himself.
Plus, confont him about what ? He chatted you up, you chatted him back. He got you to talk dirty , you freely decided to respond. It's like a game- between consenting adults. I don't think he ever committed to make it last, or make it serious, so ...
I am not putting the blame of you- just inviting to see your part of your responsibility in what happened , so you can choose better next time.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 July 2011):
You were used. Entirely. There's no easy way of saying that sadly.
What you now have to do is learn from this, because you placed far too much trust in a man who you know nothing about, and now he has photos and God knows what else. Please make sure that you never again send out photos or personal stuff to a man you know nothing about.
As for confronting him, don't do it. You'll never get an answer, and it's more likely that you'll find yourself hugely embarrassed by what has happened. Have nothing more to do with him.
And as the post says below, take some real time on your own life to work out what makes you happy and fulfilled. Get away from this site where you met him, and spend some time out there in the world. People can become entirely lost in the world if the internet, and they can place themselves in huge danger. Don't become someone who just lives in the fake land of the internet.
...............................
A
female
reader, ayeshaH +, writes (23 July 2011):
ayeshaH is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answer. it really helps to get some reassurence.
dont worry i do get out and about and do meet guys at college but thought it would be interesting to try something different.
i dont know if he was completely messing me about at the start because we did chat for hours without any dirty talk. and sent normal pic to each other.
but by the end it all became more sexualised.
i dont think he will post my pics anywhere because he sent me his pics too.
still though i really enjoyed talking to him and even though i know i deserve better i can't help missing him.
Ayesha
xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2011): This was just a laugh to him, some online relief.Hes a player and now he's moved on. I hope you never send 'raunchy' pictures of yourself to a man online ever again or worse go on webcamHave you ever thought he may have shared your photos or put them on a site?Anyway, no don't contact or confront the idiot, leave him to it, and learn from it. I hope at your age you get out and meet friends etc live in the real world - not survive on dating sites and seedy men. Take a look at your life and how you can change it so you can be occupied, happy and fulfilled, take it a day at a time - your young with years in front of you - enjoyGood luck x
...............................
|
