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Pro's and Con's of being friends with benefits for a guy who's never had a girlfriend...

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2008)
A female Australia age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I have read lot about FWB( Freinds with benefit) Relationship. Some are having it with one, Some are simultaneously having it with 2-3 partners. Some are involved in it premarital, some are inovolved in it after being married also.

I am 20Y old. So far have never been in any kind of relaionship .All you mature, elder and experienced people tell me is FWB type of relation healthy or unhealthy. Is it right to go in this type of relation or to go in a true relation.

My freinds say me that i should enjoy in FWB relation.

Show me the right path.

View related questions: never had a girlfriend

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (6 December 2008):

Teacake agony auntThe only way you can enjoy FWB is if you don't have feelings for him. Otherwise you will cry yourself to sleep every night.

emporessmystique is right about pleasure / pain. I've been involved in that for 5 years now and its been the worst emotional pain you can ever imagine. He will always have the power in the relationship. It will always be by his rules, when its convenient for him, and will often turn emotionally abusive. If you think you love him or might love him, its best to not start something you can not handle.

You might think its possible he would love you in time, but that rarely happens. Men like this are out for themselves and don't care about your feelings, which will be stepped on for as long as you go along with it.

Perhaps if you turn him down he might want to peruse you. I wish I had said no to the sex and see if he had continued to chase me until perhaps he did develop feelings for me but that is way too late because I accepted his terms and have regretted it ever since.

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A female reader, thehopelessromantic Australia +, writes (6 December 2008):

thehopelessromantic agony auntits not very healthy unless you are sure you are emotionally strong enough to handle the possible emotional attachments that may grow.

i think you should have a girlfriend before you start thinking fwb...unless there is a girl that you really like that doesnt want to date you.. but she wants to have a physical relationship with you.

pros: no responsibilities, you have rights, freedom, can see multiple people if you are up for it

cons: you may grow emotional attachments, you may lose friends over this, things could get awkward...

i've had fwbs with a guy who i liked but i know he doesnt feel the same for me. and it was worth it.. so i guess the deal is.. if you can do it and no regrets then go for it!

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A female reader, becca78 United Kingdom +, writes (6 December 2008):

Depends what you want! If you can handle sleeping with a guy where you have no say over what else he does great! I've been there, if you fall for the guy or get emotiionally attached chances are you're gonna get hurt! You've said you have no relationship experience, if you do the FWB thing you're not going to! Your older friends may have been hurt before in proper relationships, and FWB can be safer.

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