A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and have been with my bf for 3 years .My problem is when we have sex he ejaculates too soon,he has a weak erection and most of the time i don't feel him at all.At first i thought it was because we were each other first sexual partners and thought it would get better with time but sadly after 3 years of practice things have not improved , but are getting worse. I m at a point where i just don t feel like having sex with him anymore because it is soo disappointing. I really want to experience great mind blowing sex. Please help!
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Well if that don't beat all! Talk about breakin' it down to the bare metal, q's gone and done it again! Rusty chain saw.....
A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Assuming he's been checked out for health reasons, I have one trick up my sleeve. He's got too much performance pressure. It's possible he's seeing your face as it goes from yay to fuck..he's soft again... *sigh* get off me already.
Or he's got it in his head that he's just not doing it right and he wants to blow your mind but is too caught up in the "I'm going to fail" cycle of madness.
performance anxiety and/or stress are bone killers...if you get my meaning. See if you can talk to him and get him to relax. Say something like focus on your feelings not whether or not you're blowing my mind.
BUT before you even get to that level, you have to tell him how to please you. Ie. touch me here, touch me like that, etc etc. Maybe if you have longer foreplay you'll have mind blowing sex.
It's not easy when the guy is brand new, believe me, I know....but I think it could work. You need patience and LOTS of guidance.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (25 May 2010):
So, like, what's up with this whole wind sock effect, anyway?
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (25 May 2010):
Great, mind-blowing sex is a two-way street. It's rarely a one-sided event wherein you just experience it and inflict little or nothing in return. You must *learn* what makes sex mind-blowing for you and him, both. Learn your partner and learn him well, and sex will become the stuff of legends.
Secondly, premature ejaculation is almost always due to lack of experience or lack of control in young guys. Older guys? It's simply because they don't *want* to exercise control. I'm betting you're dealing with good old fashioned lack of experience since you're both each other's first. Try spending a little more time and effort in the journey, not the destination. Study up on what makes a great sex partner great. ALWAYS, ALWAYS be kind, considerate and safe. Remember it's the journey, not the destination!
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