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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and i were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the break up..no one cheated..i think we did really love each other..it was petty stuff that i think we can get over from just learning from mistakes etc..i know what i would do differently and told him this. I told him i would rather be with him than some other guy. We went a year with no contact and i was strong but i decided to contact him because i knew i still loved him. We have been talking for months and from knowing him i know he isn't the type where he would jump back quickly into things. He is in his 30's and i am in my mid twenties.I did ask him very direct questions and made direct comments of how maybe he is just trying to be this "nice guy" and doesn't want to say that he just doesn't want me. And he said that isn't exactly right b/c if it was about me then he would be seeing someone already or looking.We have been having nice conversations although its mostly me calling at this point and in terms of us seeing each other he said let him get his head together. So i figured I should give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe eventually he will come around. I am trying to date in the meantime.I was organizing some stuff and i came across 2 pictures of me and him that he never saw..one was at an occasion and it was kinda candid..i think someone called my name and i looked up and he was looking at me in that moment i guess laughing at something i said. The other was a picture of us on a boat that my friend took..the sun is in our eyes so we both look kinda funny but cute...i wanted to send him these pics after maybe speaking on the phone with him and just explain i came across these 2 pictures i don't think you ever saw; just wanted to show you. Kinda plain and simple.Is this a horrible idea? We have been talking for a while now and are on OK terms so I just figured maybe its something sweet to do and its not like we just started talking after the break up..its been awhile. I know its not going to change anything or convince him of anything but could it hurt to send and just bring back positive/nice memories we shared?
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Sounds rather thoughtful and nice of you, I think. Nothing wrong with a harmless nudge in the right direction, girl. Provided you're being sincere and are only offering a couple of quasi-cute, pleasant reminders of what used to be. I see no harm in it. I think it's just nice. Don't expect much from it, just put it out there with a short: Didn't think you ever saw these, and I thought maybe you might like to. Short, simple, and sweet. And then just let it ride. Let him get back to you on it. Don't push or pester just allow it to speak for itself. Be sure to let us know what happens!
p.s. If he's interested or intrigued, I'm betting he'll contact you with something like: what made you think I might want to see these? That's just sniffing the bait, so let it just hang there. Don't be too quick to try to set the hook....patience...patience.
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