A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 24 yrs old im a black female I have been in an on and off relationship with an italian guy for 3 yrs now. we just started seeing each other again and also started having sex again. I just found out this morning that I was pregnant. I told him and he is happy he wants to keep it but our parents are going to flip out cause no one in my family likes him and his family thinks he shouldnt be dating outside his race. how should we approach this? you advice is very important to me.thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I want you to step out of january 14, 2008 and visualize yourself and this situation on january 14, 2020. now tell me, how did you approach this one?life is simple. dont make it complicated. just be careful the next time.
A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (14 January 2008):
 Whew! Hmmm ... okay ... remember in high school algebra when you were taught to eliminate the extraneous information so you could solve the problem? That's what you and the daddy of your baby have to do so you two can make an intelligent decision.
Important piece #1: Daddy is excited about the baby. That is definitely a plus! You have not indicated that you feel any different, so I will take that to mean you want the baby.
Area of concern: Why are you two on and off? Are those issues going to continue to resurface? Is your family's non-acceptance of him related to why you broke up numerous times? Is it rooted in their concern for your health, welfare and happiness?
Whether you two decide to marry or not, it sounds like you are planning to commit to parenting together. That is wonderful and congratulations.
Area of concern that may turn out to be extraneous information: bigotry in his family. Thank God I have seen people overcome bigotry when a precious baby pulls it all together. I know it is not always the case, but it is often the case. If you and the daddy are committed to the child and to your relationship, even if they don't overcome their ignorance, it can just be a thorn in your sides. It does not have to be a life-altering situation. I am sure there is a TON of information on the internet to help you two navigate those stormy waters.
Best wishes to all of you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 It is sad when the parents do not agree with the choice of the children's partner.Some of those parents may come around to accept them while some will never in this life.
It is your life and you will have to decide which is more important for you .If you are independent and working, there is nothing your parents can do about your decision .When you marry , you leave your parents and start a life of your own.The decision may not be agreeable to your parents but it is your happiness.You may try to convince them and if it fails,then you need to do what your heart says.
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