A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I desperately need help. I would say I am addicted to watching porn and masturbating. I am a relationship for 2 years and we do have sex, sometimes amazing and sometimes dull. She makes love the way I want but not always and not everything that I like. I am desperate for oral and she never ever thinks about my feeling and just wants me to do the "regular" thing and that too quickly. It has made me so much unsatisfied at occasions and this has led to watch more porn. I HATE to watch it but i always say to myself that today would be the last day and I wont watch it from tomorrow. But I always end up watching it after 2 days or something. Please help me what should I do to get rid of this desperation for watching porn. I hate myself and I want to give up the habit of maturbating which I do 4-5 times some days when my fiance is not with me and i am horny after watching porn. Please advise.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): tell her you would like to experience new things and its a healthy part of a relationship. just approach the topic sensitively because she can be uncomfortable and dont push it. jst built up to it till she feels comfortable. this may take a while as some women find it degrading
A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (1 December 2009):
You need to contact SAA (sex addicts annonymous) It is a real and treatable addiction. There are support groups for this and there are trained professional therapists that can help you. You are not alone in this problem. It has become so widespread because of the easy access to it via the internet. Just seek out help, you can beat this and become better for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Hi. Totally agree with DoubleM. Porn is everywhere now and can have a very bad effect on SOME relationships. If youre watching it so much thats probably why youre so horny! You are feeding a fire my friend. No ones forcing you to sit about watching it all day, you choose to. Pull the plug on it and get a hobby. Better still make sex with your girlfriend your new hobby. If you stop fuelling your needs all the time and start thinking about hers and make sex really enjoyable for her, you wont need porn
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Sounds like your biggest issue is your unsatisfactory sex life. You sound like you and your partner are having problems... "Dull", "unsatisfied", "not thinking about my feelings"...... your words.... after two years, dosen't sound like your happy with your sex life at all... Your dissatisfaction won't disappear, and even if you give up porn, nothing at all will be solved..... you need to have a long talk with your girlfriend, about the dissatisfaction you find with your sex life. If your having problems after two years, it will get much worse the longer you stay together without trying to solve things. Work on your sex life first, and the issue of porn and masturbation will no longer be a problem.. Do the talk, talk thing... tell her what's bothering you, why your are sexually unsatisfied with your love life.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Porn addiction can be a reality. We would think that any man or woman with a partner would not be quite so susceptible to such outside influence or need, but I think it's wide and easy availability can be overwhelming and ruinous to relationships.
To address your stronger concern, which is obviously concerning lack of oral satisfaction from your girlfriend/fiance, you must answer one question: Are you providing her oral satisfaction? As in first?
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A
female
reader, hubbie  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 it really surprised me,when i read this question,,,, hahahahahaha you are quite same with my bf, hmmmm excuse me or should i say THE KING OF PORNS.... oh come 0n gr0w up man, accept it and dont be so self denial, that you are really perverted.... :) and dont always keep blaming your gf, because of your addiction, if you could just talk in a moment that is great, try to share everything u want so that she have an idea, to dance with the music '-) and take note, maybe someday your gf will become one of them, the most popular porn star! and for that your own self will freely let your addiction be healed.... :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): You should definately relate to your girlfriend how much you desire oral sex. Find out why she objects to it, perhaps her jaw gets tired, maybe she is afraid you will cum in her mouth, maybe she is just unsure how to do it and afraid you will make fun of her...you won't know unless you ask and it may be something very simple to remedy.
There is a web-site that supports men struggling with porn addiction...npsupport.net....you could get answers to all your questions there and find out if you are truly addicted.
Best of luck to you :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): When she's really hot during sex, start talking dirty to her. Do the Deepspot method and talk dirty. When she eventually starts having vaginal orgasms (IF that happens) she will probably start giving more during sex (including BJs, if you say you want it)... Then give her instructions on how to give you BJs :)
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (27 November 2009):
 First thought that comes to mind: since you mentioned "fiance," the first thing you shouldn't do is follow through with the wedding, expecting things to get better or "work themselves out over time" -- both are wrong.
Forgetting the porn issue a minute, I think you need to address this issue directly with your fiance. Find a way to get a discussion started on the topic of sex and your relationship... what you expect, what she expects, likes/dislikes... the whole nine yards... and (very important), do this with an open mind; there are things you've done that she's not going to be all warm and fuzzy about either.
In my opinion, if you two are relating better sexually, the porn issue will probably start to fade away or at least will seem less like an addiction ...why watch when you can participate, right? You're never going to be able to completely avoid pornographic material completely -- advertisements and movies are too charged with sexually explicit material. But, if you improve your sexual relationship, there's a chance that it will become a less important part of your life...
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