A
female
age
22-25,
*redthefrog
writes:My life is a mess.... Three of my closest friends have mental illnesses and are having counselling, one of my friends self harms but I dont know how to help, I feel like everyone hates me because one of the friends with depression get angry easily and is convinced I ignore her! This really annoys me because she ignores me!! I just have no idea what to do to try and sort this our! Please could people just tell me what to do and how to help people!! Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (17 July 2012):
None of this is your fault. Sometimes people get angry when they’re depressed, but that doesn’t mean that you’ve done anything wrong. Don’t take it to heart and walk away from a tense situation. As for your friend who is self-harming, it’s down to their counsellor to help them work through their issues and deal with them in a better, safer way than inflicting injuries on themselves. Encourage your friend to be honest with the counsellor about the extent and severity of the problem. That is about the most helpful thing that you can do.
I’d also advise you to try and widen your friendship circles and be part of more than one friendship group. Why? I’m not suggesting that you abandon these 3 friends, but when you allow yourself to worry so much about them, it can affect you too. You might be concerned about how you can help them, but who’s helping you? It’s a great thing to be there for those who you care about, but we shouldn’t pretend that this doesn’t create a burden on you. You need other friends who have less need of emotional support for you to help keep a balance. Your friends are lucky to have you even if they don’t always realise it. Please be reassured that you are being a true friend, the fact that you’ve taken the time to seek advice on here shows that.
I wish you all the very best.
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