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male
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anonymous
writes: Please advise!Last night I cheated on my girlfriend with my ex. We have been together for a couple of months, and due to current circumstances I am living with my ex, which I am trying to change.I have cheated in the past, which I am not proud of, but this time is different. I love my girlfriend very much, and the guilt is killing me! I dont know what came over me to do something so stupid, I know that I dont deserve to be with her, but I cant bare to lose her. In a perfect world, yeah I'd just come out with it, tell her and all will be fine. But I cant tell her cause Im pretty sure that would mean the end of us. I wish I could take it back, and Iam trying to just forget bout it and pretend it didnt happen. Anyone whos has been in a simular situation or has some advice please write!Tahnk you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): Man please for the love of christ and his beautiful angels you dont say a word of it look at the guilt as a punishment bet you wont do it again.. i cheated 2 but not with my ex i was drunk she was their and it happened i felt and still fell like shit but the longer you hold it in the easier it is to deal with it give it four mnths and your guilt wont be as bad and another thing if you cheat doesnt mean you dont love her it just means you messed up if you mess up that bad again than you realy dont love her
A
female
reader, Little girl x +, writes (6 October 2006):
 Do not tell her.
The fact you cheated on her with your ex, is a hundred times worse.
She will not forgive you.
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (6 October 2006):
 DavidLewis hit the nail on the head when he stated that he thinks "you are probably very attracted to both girls, but not in love with any". And Ariel's wise words and I cite " You say you love your girlfriend, but your actions are saying a completly different thing" . What wonderfully wise Aunts/Uncles you both are!
Male reader, I seriously believe that when one person truely and wholly loves another, they could never, ever fathom cheating on their loved one. The idea of causing so much potential, possible pain, heartbreak and devastation to a loved one's life, should be unthinkable. So if I were you, I would be questioning your true devotion and love to your gf. This clearly was not love. This was a self-centered ego trip on your part, and you never even considered her in this equation. I think you need to come clean and tell your gf. Give her the inalienable right and fair choice to decide whether she wants to continue in this relationship with you. That is the very most respectable thing you can do for her, right now. Many women wouldn't tolerate this betrayal..some would. She might dump you, one doesn't know. But if you two hash this out, discuss it-be prepared to put your feelings aside and really silt quietly and listen to what she says to you. If she decides to carry on with you..accept that your actions/ behaviours will be scrutinized-she will not trust you until you earn it back. This will be a long process. But if you are still motivated to make this work, then you will need to forgive yourself and she will need to find forgiveness for you, as well. It really will take a committed effort from both of you. Time will tell how this plays out. But let's get this striaght, as far as love goes-this was and is an intense 'immature infatuation' with her. Please don't tell me 'you love her', after cheating with another woman. Sorry, hun... that type of rationale just doesn't wash with me. Take care dear and I wish you both good luck.
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A
female
reader, ariel  +, writes (6 October 2006):
 I know this might sound crazy but I think you should put this experience behind you and get out of your ex's place asap.should you tell her??? Can you handle the guilt?Its your decission.
Being honest can end your relationship with your gf because its a young relationship.She might have a black and white view on cheating or she might be very understanding.
Put yourself in her shoes would you want to know to know the truth?
Some times it takes this to make you realize what you want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know that I want my girlfriend. I have the choice of my ex if I really wanted her, and I have offers from other women, this is how I know I have the right one, I choose her other anything and anyone else. I love her to bits.
My thoughts before I slept with my ex?? It was late and she woke me when she came in (as I sleep downstairs), we were sat talking for a while, and then before I knew it I we were at it. I wasnt thinking at all, wish I was thinking.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (6 October 2006):
 I feel you are really undecided on who you want. I think you are probably very attracted to both girls, but not in love with any.
You should be honest with your girlfriend and move out of your exes, because there is no way your girlfriend will stay with you if you still live with the ex.
What were your thoughts before you slept with the ex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know it looks bad, im not proud of what I done at all. When I say I cheated in the past it was years ago, I was younger and less affected back then.
Me and my ex we have lived together for years, we split a while ago, but still lived with each other just because it was easier. I am soon moving but havnt because of the need to save money to start in a new place.
No I didnt cheat on my ex with my current girlfriend, been years since I've done anything like this. Being asked by women all the time to sleep with them kinda plays on temptation, but i managed to avoid doing anything bad. I guess my ex just had a lil advantage cuz she knows what I like.
I know this is no excuse and I just want to go back and stop myself, but its too late. This totally isnt me, and dont feel like myself for doing it.
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A
female
reader, ariel +, writes (6 October 2006):
You have cheated in the past and now again......Why???
If you are honest with yourself you knew exactly what you were doing.The truth has a way of coming out.Your guilt will have a hand in it coming out.
You have been with your gf for a couple of months and live with your ex.Why are you leaving your ex?Did you cheat on your ex with your current gf?
You need to soart yourself out.You say you love your girlfriend ,but your actions are saying a completly different thing.
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A
female
reader, Charmedone +, writes (6 October 2006):
 You need to tell her hun would you rather she heard it from you than someone else? i know i certainly would. Just tell her exactly what you said in your question explain that you feel really guilty about it and you don't know why u did it prepare your self for the worst with this if i was in your girlfriends i would give you a second chance because i would realise how sorry you are. hope this helped in any way xx
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