A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please give me a reason to stay a virgin. I always wanted to have sex the first time with another virgin, but there are non! All the girl today just shack up with the first guy they're with for more then two weeks. I don't blame them though, I blame the pricks that lie to them and tell them how much they love them and how they're going to be together forever and then leave as soon as they have what they want. You know I could have bin one of them, but no I was going to treat women with respect and dignity. Now it looks like that was all pointless, should have just got some while I could have. I should just become that which I hate the most, a lying manipulating man whore. I'll hate myself but at least I'll get some and I will not have to worry about going on another year as a virgin. That's what scares me more then anything, going on another year with no one. I was on another site not to long ago there were guys there that where in their mid thirty's and still virgins! they scared the hell out of me!!! I refuse to let that happen to me, but I really don't want to abandon all my principals. Somethings going to have to give though and soon.I hope God is getting a good laugh out of this because its ceased being funny to me:(.So if someone out there can give me a good reason for me to keep doing what I'm doing I really want to hear it because I cant think of one any more. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): I don't hear anyone telling a 14yo girl contemplating losing her virginity, "Sex is just sex. Just do it with someone you are attracted to. It's not that big of a deal".
It's only "no big deal" when people are trying to console nice guys that are finishing last after sacrificing since they were 14.
A
female
reader, mdttjulie +, writes (16 February 2010):
Sex is just sex. It is something you do when you are attracted to someone or love them. I am not saying go sleep with the 1st woman you see, be picky and dont settle. Don't think so much about it, if it happens it happens :) just don't do anything you will regret!
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A
female
reader, SsCcHh  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 You seem to have very good principals. It's really nice to see a man who actually cares nowadays. It seems to be that this generation holds with it young women who fall at the first hurdle, and I believe that what you think about sex and the morals behind it is refreshing and something that one day a decent and grateful young woman will fall for.
I myself know how it is to lose your virginity. I do not regret my decision as I am in love, but theres times in life where rash actions still don't seem quite perfect (this does not mean regretable). I'm sure you'll make the right decision and losing your virginity won't just be a 'for the sake of it' thing.
I hope I've been of help!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): I have to give you my honest opinion here - I don't see any point in staying a virgin.
The first year or so of having sex was (for me at least) a bit awkward, nice but not terribly great. My first time was with another virgin and it was very much 'The blind leading the blind' as the saying goes, very awkward and not the least bit sexy.
It took me years to reach the stage where I could be described as good in bed. I'm one of those men that take pride in knowing how to treat a lady and for the best part of a decade (my 20's - 30's) I slept with a number of women (98 to be exact) and they all taught me something new.
My wife (lucky number 98) has since been enjoying what she describes as 'mind blowing good sex'.
I would also suggest that your view of women is a bit out of date (and I'm way older so should know!). They are not helpless victims but independent sexual beings! Casual sex can be very full-filling when both parties know what they are doing.
There is however, something to be said for saving yourself for the woman you love. But I imagine the price you pay with such limited experience is a poor performance for her. Pleasing a woman in bed is nowhere near as simple as Hollywood would have us believe, nor can you learn from pornos or friends or websites such as this.
A good lover is an experienced lover.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (16 February 2010):
 Because you'll regret it if you give it up at this point just for the sake of losing it. How will you feel when you do meet her, that perfect girl that makes you suddenly realize why it never worked with anyone else. That virgin (or at least girl with little experience) that you fall for and marry. Will you be happy if you do marry a virgin that spent her whole life waiting to give it up to a man that saved himself for her, some girl that has principles and keeps them, some blushing bride like you always dreamed up, and you have to tell her that you boinked random flings and one-night-stands just because you were sick of waiting?
I'm there with you, man. I'm 26 and a virgin. I told my ex-fiancée no (before finding out she cheated on me) and I'm glad I did. Sure... I'm annoyed with a sea of easy girls and so few that have control, but a few more years of waiting beat a few decades of regret. At least, that's what I'm telling myself... your mileage may vary.
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