A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey im newly single just broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months a few weeks ago and i needed some advice. Im 23, and a recent college grad. My girlfriend was a great person but i just wasnt ready for a serious relationship, she is a few years older and was ready for something more serious. Anyhow im having a hard time meeting people, more importantly im having a hard time meeting women. if anyone had any ideas of good places to meet women to casually date? My social life is limited cuz i many of my friends from school do not live around me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the input, kc100 you are right i guess i just want the best of both worlds which isnt fair. One thing that i forgot to mention is that i am always up front when i start dating women i tell them that i dont want anything serious. However it always ends badly and i feel terrible about it. Im not a player or a bad guy i just havent found the right one.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (17 May 2010):
 I have talked about "casual dating" before and I guess I should define the term better. I believe it is for younger people who are not ready to make a commitment to a long term relationship. When I say "casual dating" I mean dating in groups in order to meet lots of people. I also mean dating without sex. I don't believe "casual sex" or "no strings attached sex" is healthy.
Now that our OP has left college his opportunities for meeting other single young people are going to be harder to find. I'm not going to tell someone when they are ready for a relationship. OP obviously feels he is not. Until he feels he is ready to make a commitment, he really needs to keep it to just friends. (like you ladies have said).
Clubs have been mentioned, I'd like to add church groups. You need to be cautious though. you are going to run into a lot of women who are wanting more. The older you get the more you will face this. The best way is not to pair off of settle on any one woman. That should send the right message.
FA
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 K c100- I feel I want to hug you ! Thanks ! I thought it was only me, and maybe I was wrong. I could never get the hang of ,our understand the point ,of "casual dating ".
It's a very American thing- they do it,or say they do it. But it does not make much sense to me.
The way I see it, either I am a single woman happy being single and content with my life as it is, friends, work,hobbies etc.- so I don't want a man around. As for my sexual urges, I may sublimate them, or satisfy them with one night stands,according to the type of woman I am.
Or I am a single woman who is not happy being single and I want companionship and affection and a regular sex life. So I will want to be in a monogamous and emotionally secure relationship. Casual dating is an in between that won't cut it.
That's of course it's just my opinion- but I am glad to see that ,at least, there is another woman sharing it
So,OP, I endorse what k-c100 says. You are young ,nobody blames you if you want to play the field. ,so play the field openly- do not send girls mixed messages .
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 You have only broken up with your ex a few weeks ago, you dont want a serious relationship.....so why do you want another girlfriend?!
Seriously - when women start dating generally they are looking for it to turn into something serious, so if you start dating a woman but dont want a relationship with her you will only end up hurting people. You cannot just go around "casually dating" women because they will expect more from you, just like your ex did. Misleading people is never nice - so either stay single and just enjoy yourself, or if you do want to be with someone then make the commitment to them. There is no "middle ground" - you cannot have the best of both worlds I'm afraid. It sounds to me like you want the company and sex you get in a relationship, but you dont want the committment, and in reality it is very hard to find a woman who wants the same thing!
If you want to meet new people then just start going out more - clubs and bars are the obvious choice. Join clubs or social groups related to hobbies you enjoy - say if you like running, then join a running club. Clubs and groups are great ways to meet people, plus you have the added bonus that they enjoy the same things you do. Online dating is always an option - but women on these online dating sites tend to want serious relationships so you will struggle to find someone on there who just wants to be "casual'.
I really think you should just stay single for a while, it has only been a few weeks therefore just be single and stop trying to hard to meet women who you will only end up hurting.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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