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female
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*ennie
writes: Hi I’m really new at this i mean i just cant count on my friends to understand or tell me the truth. i have been with my partner for a year now and its so hard for me to explain what its like. He is a very jealous person but never shows it only every now and then he never talks about the way he feels I love him more then any one I have ever dated. He just does not seem to bothered about me any more he used to really treat me special now he barley phones me I text him he never text back I phone him maybe 5 times a day he might phone me maybe once, I feel like I have no control or if I left him he would even care, I just want him to be interested in me, we spend every night together. I just want things to be the way they used to be our sex life is slowly getting slower. I just came back from Ireland this weekend and when I came home he did not seem like he missed me at all what do I do I have tried talking to him but he says im being silly and there is nothing wrong it makes me feel like its all in my head!
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female
reader, Cool Cucumber  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 You can't continue like this. Maybe you may need to spend more time apart and stop phoning him as much as you have. See if he chases after you! As you have done all the running around, he probably feels he doesn't have to do anything and to be honest he may be feeling a bit claustraphobic. You do by the sounds of it spend an awful lot of time together, or on the phone together. Take up new hobbies/interests, continue to see friends, enjoy yourself outside the relationship. It's his tough luck if he starts to get jealous, he's the one with insecurity issues. It sounds like you are on a bit of a one way street here. But there may be hope, just don't throw all your energy and waste it on someone who is not appreciating it. Pull away if you can...see what happens. If he doesn't come after you then you know he doesn't feel the same way about you... Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (23 October 2006):
 If you're not happy in a relationship, you need to do something about it. Don't be silenced just because someone else thinks the way you are feeling is 'silly'. You need to sort this out, as you feel that you are putting more into the relationship than he is and that's a recipe for disaster. Relationships are two way things and this needs resolving . . . otherwise, you need to find someone who is willing to put in as much effort as you.
Sit down with him and give him no choice but to talk. Make sure you're both in good moods and you have plently of time. Sit him down and tell him what you've told us. He has to open us, once he realises how much this is getting to you.
If he doesn't, then you need to tell him: if things don't change and the relationship doesn't become what you want it to be and what you deserve, then you're walking. If he doesn't sort himself out after this threat, then I think you know that he really isn't that bothered.
Good luck
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