A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! Well this isn't really a relationship advice more like an educational one. But it does involve my boyfriend, who I've been talking with about my career and education. Ok so I started college this past August and my first classes on Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays were great ! But my Tuesday and Thursday classes became the ones I didn't want to go to because I felt very unprepared and lost. So I talked this over with my boyfriend and he told me that if I dropped out of my classes he'd be very disappointed in me. He explained to me that I was just overwhelmed with the work. But now that I have stopped going to this fall semester, I'm not sure how to tell him that I stopped going to college after just going for a week. To be honest, yes I feel guilty for doing it but I just didn't feel prepared nor ready to begin college. 2 weeks before I had gone into college I was on vacation with my family. We had a blast and for me I honestly felt like starting college once I was back home. But when I returned from my vacation a day before college started, I didn't feel that need anymore. And sometimes I feel that's the reason why I dropped out my classes the the 1st week because I was so used to not worrying about anything when I was away. But when I came back reality hit me in the face and I didn't feel ready. I think to myself now and feel as if I'm a disappointment not only to him, but my family. Even though they have said countless times that they support my decision but I just don't see myself staying home and not continuing my education. Now I'm thinking of going back into college as a flex term to start off where I left off. I feel so much regret on my part because my friends that I'm surrounded with are in college and struggling while I'm not. I think this the only regret I've ever felt in my life! I was thinking of taking a short term program and get my certificate in the medical field but I really don't want to struggle later in life and want to get my associates, but mainly my bachelors degree. Although I talked about my short term certificate with my boyfriend, he really didn't support me in that. He commented that people who go to those short term places are either lazy, don't like putting in effort into college and that's why they go there. I felt really bad but I feel like at the moment I need time for myself since throughout my vacation I was just with family and doing silly innocent things with my cousins, that's what I feel like I deserve. But apparently if I tell him what I did, I feel like he would judge or tell me I'm an embarrassment to him. What is your opinion on my situation? Should I tell my boyfriend that I stopped going to school but thinking of going back in again or should I just keep it to myself?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2014): Guiding you is one thing. This guy is shaming you and it distracts from the satisfaction you will feel as you get closer to your goal.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 September 2014):
 Your boyfriend is bossy and overbearing. He loves you for your profession and how you show to his world, rather than who you really want to be. Is there anyway you can make your bachelors' a five year program instead of four? That way you are still in the program and you still get some time for yourself. I am not sure your boyfriend was being motivational in his way or does he want a trophy girlfriend and knock you down if you don't live up to his expectations. Only you can judge.
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