A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im 25 and my bf is 39 so far we have a good relantionship but im concern about our sex life hes sex drive isnt where i would like it to be i wanted to know do men at that age not geet in the mood to have sex as much...and how can i get hem to want to have more sex with me.?my bf doesnt ever do any four play with me he just has sex with and thats it what does that mean do he not like me?...
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in the mood, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso lol get this we dint bring it up again but..he knew where i was getting at this the text i sent hem.lets just say he made it up later that night and we dint even have to talk about it hes action sayd it all...but thank you very much for your advice you been the best!!
A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (19 January 2011):
I must say I was shocked that you sent him a text about this. Don't be embarrassed about discussing sex with your partner, its something that seriously needs to be address or it will have an inpact on your future with him.
Make sure there will be no interruptions... mobiles off, Tvs off.. etc.
One word of advic; Stay calm and don't throw insults because you won't get anywhere.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 January 2011):
 I believe the word you were looking for in that last paragraph is "HIM."
Good luck in your conversation. Do it right and he won't feel insecure.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol your right i am just shy about it and its realy wired because im usally not shy about this kinda things but i feel like i am putting hem on the spot i dnt want to make hem feel bad because hes not meeting my needs in the love sack lol but thank you your right ill talk to hem face to face thx soo much.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 January 2011):
A text? Really? Is that really the way you think is best to handle this?
I'm with Cerberus. A text message or phone call is not the way to have this conversation. Face to face is the only way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Text message and phone calls are not the way to discuss it. Wait until you meet him face to face and then talk to him about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso i send hem a text asking hem if he was happy with our sex life he dint reply back or talk about it when he spoke to me on the phn what does that mean he dint briing it up and neighther did i? idk if i can even talk to hem about it or how to
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (18 January 2011):
 I'm a little older than your husband. I would be pretty intimidated by a lover of your age who was getting demanding. That intimidation could affect his performance. I will say that my interest is lower now than it was at 25. My ability is even lower. I suspect that It will always be on my mind.
As far as talking to him about your needs, It has to be done. I had to have a talk like that with my wife. It went something like this. It's hard for me to believe that you love me when I tell you that my needs aren't being met, and you agree that they aren't being met, and then you do nothing different. It is unreasonable for you to expect me to remain faithful in this situation.
FA
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (18 January 2011):
You must talk to each other about this, and I am sure afterwards you will both feel better for it.
Has it been like this since day one, or has it only occurred recently?
I don't think its his age, as I know guys that are like stallions at 39 lol. Also, when I was your age, I wasnt that bothered, however, now in my 40s I can't get enough.
We are all at fault for getting into a rut when we settle down with someone, but you only get out of a relationship what you put into it. You really must discuss things with him and until you actually address the situation it will continue to get worse which I am sure is not what you want.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Dirtball is right, talk to him he could just be lazy about these things and not making the effort because you haven't asked him to.
He might think you're perfectly satisfied with the way things are, so you tell him you're not and you'd like a to spice things up a little.
If after that he doesn't want to or doesn't make the effort them come back to us and we'll advise you on how to deal with that. First things first though, talk to him and no, it has no reflection whether he likes you or not.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 January 2011):
What has he said when you talked to him about this?
Typically, men's sex drives slowly decrease from about the age of 23 on. We reach our peak somewhere between 18-23 and it's all down hill after that (generalities).
Some people just don't like foreplay either. My last GF was that way and it drove me nuts because I love it. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you, that's just how he is.
You need to talk to him. Tell him what you're feeling and see if he's willing to make more of an effort.
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