A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been close with a man of 42 (i'm 27) for some time now and he has recently became good friends with my husband. We all go out drinking together and my husband's friend and i have remained really close friends. My husband is aware of this and has no problem with it.Recently I have noticed that the friend has been rather abrupt with me and quite snappy. I have tried to talk to him to find out the problem as I do want to remain good friends but he avoids answering me and turns it into a joke, but it is really upsetting me as I think a great deal of him and it is uncomfortable around my husband.I am wondering now if the friend has feelings for me. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 September 2007):
 First, you need to set your boundaries with this friend. Being married is hard enough without added tension. If you husbands tension increases, it could affect your marriage as a whole. I can't say if he has feelings past friendship. What I will say is it's OK. It's OK if he thinks your the greatest female whose ever crossed his path. Those are his feelings. Most of us have been there, we've become real good friends with a friends spouse, thinking our friend was a bit luckier than we were at the time. But it's not OK to allow those feelings to interfere with a friends marriage. When he acts that way, I'd simply tell him you don't appreciate his behavior. If his behavior continues or increases, I'd had to say it, your marriage or your friendship? I hate to see marriages terminate because a "friend" steps over appropriate boundaries.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (19 September 2007):
I think he has feelings for your and is being abrupt as a way of dealing with it. Be kind and try to steer clear of him as much as you can.
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