A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a female in her early thirties, and I want to tell my husband that I want a divorce because at this point in our marriage I am very unhappy. He is a sweet person, but he is not willing to compromise about anything. We are communicating less and everytime I try to tell him how I feel, he turns everything around on me. We have been married less than a year and if I am feeling like this now, I would rather get out than live a life of unhappiness. What should I do?
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female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (5 May 2008):
You've only been married a year....divorce is not the answer! The first couple of years of marriage is the hardest. I would also suggest that you start to see a counselor. They will be able to help you in communicating and how to handle certain situations. And at this point, they'll be able to help you get your marriage back on track. The 1st 3 years of my marriage was horrible and much worse than lack of communication!! I stayed and it all worked out!! Marriage is 50/50 and will always be hard work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): I am glad its not just me.. we have been married about 9 months, i love my husband - well i loved how he used to be, now hes a steryotypical husband and i have turned into a steryotypical wife! I am so fed up.. we both work hard,up to our eyeballs with bills, we go to bed - to sleep - and we don't communicate anymore and hes obesssed with his playstation!
It definately was not like this when we married, otherwise i wouldnt have rushed into things!
I guess we have to give a bit, and put our all into the relationship.. they are I guess only men.. the lesser species, maybe be shouldnt expect so much??
But i had expected to be happier!
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Hi there, the first year of marriage is definitely the hardest. You are both adjusting to a new life together.
Can i stress that Communiation is key here, you both need to sit down and talk about whats bothering each other,I know it can be hard to speck with guys sometimes, but maybe just try to ask him, say you love him and just want to sort out any little issues that maybe worrying you, be supportive, say if we sort this out now then we can start enjoying your time together, go away on a trip, do you both need to get away together somewhere to relax.
Marriage can be difficult, so you have to work hard sometimes to make it work. Dont get a divorce just yet, you need to iron things out with him first. I think you are work this out with a bit of relationship TLC. (tender loving care)
Sometimes men get unsettled in a marriage, is he stressed? worried about something? or as mentioned before, marriage counselling is also a good option if your little chat does not work.
Good luck and let us know how you get on. xx
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A
female
reader, Me,myself and I +, writes (5 May 2008):
 OMG!!! This is basicly what is going on with me. I got married a year ago, and we are not communicating either. He is really trying now, but it is too late, I feel I kinda hate him for being how he was. He is a nice guy but nice isn't all. I asked for a divorce more than once. He won't give in. All I can tell you is, if you feel like this now then you should maybe go to therapy, (sounds lame) but it might work. Honey if it doesn't brush him off. You are young. A marriage is 50%/50%, not 100% to one side.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): The first year is the hardest....try some marriage counseling, go alone first and then invite your husband....you may need to learn how to communicate better, you both could have problems in this area.
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