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Online dating is making me a nervous wreck!

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2015)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I joined an online dating site and have gotten a few messages. Most of them are "hi" or "hey", not never interesting in my opinion. But, I came across someone with an awesome profile, seemed just as outgoing as me, VERY attractive, so I said "why not" and messaged him although I'm more used to guys messaging me.

To my surprise (and slight horror- LOL) he messaged me back. Of course I respond to each of his text but my heart literally rushes when I do. And that's just texting!

It's seems easier to set up dates online than clicking with someone in person or waiting for someone to approach me, but for some reason being on an online dating site has made me a nervous wreck.

I guess I'm scared they will say something hurtful. Or if I am attracted to someone, they will stop talking to me or ignore me. Or if we manage to click and meet in person it will be awkward. It just scares me.

So my question: how can I get over this? It's ridiculous to have so much anxiety over just texting someone!

And, any tips for online dating for a female?


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A female reader, LiveAnnLearn Serbia +, writes (30 April 2015):

LiveAnnLearn agony auntI think it's natural that you're feeling this way, trying out something new, maybe feeling exposed or worried due to your previous expectations of online dating. Anyway, same as with every anxiety, more you do the thing that's making you anxious, less anxious it's making you.

I'd say just put up with it, keep up the good work, well done on being brave and texting the guy you like 1st! It really seems to me like you're doing very well so far ;)

When it comes to tips, my general tip to ladies is to not seem too eager, ever, and when it comes to online dating: be very cautious about the guys you decide to meet with in person, think about your safety.

Good luck!

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (30 April 2015):

janniepeg agony auntThe online world makes you feel exposed. It's normal to feel nervous because you are looking at them as real people, with real feelings. That's a good thing. People who are experienced with online dating become numb and desensitized. It becomes a number's game. People are reduced to pixels on screen, yes or no and they become mechanical after repeating the same line over and over again.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. What you feel makes you human. Tips for female is always be picky and weed out lots of losers. An awesome profile does not mean better than you. People can be experienced with what to say on the computer but in real life they can just be as nervous as you.

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