A
female
age
41-50,
*irtyblonde00
writes:Hey everyone...need some help with this...I recently met someone about 2 months ago, we quickly started dating, things were wonderful. We saw each other almost everyday, exchanged emails all day at work, he sent me flowers, said I love you, met the parents, the whole 9 yards. After about a month of this he quickly started acting funny. He started questioning a lot of things and said he had a lot on his mind and started to withdrawal. He informed me that his family was struggling financially and that he was basically "putting food on the table" and helping pay bills and supporting them etc. With this came a lot of other uncertainties, we didn't talk as much, dates were "dead" so to speak, no smiling, laughing on his end. He said he wasn't ready for a romantic relationship and basically pushed me away as I tried and contined to help and be supportive and not pushy myself. We broke up on New Years Eve after he wanted to be friends and I told him absolutely not. (that's not fair to me and not what I want!) He texted me all night on new years saying I care for you so much but what am I supposed to do when I feel so scattered, afraid, confused etc? The next morning we talked over Instant Messenger, he intiated the conversation asking if I was ok, and I said no i'm not, and proceeded to tell him why he shouldn't leave the relationship. Nothing really got solved here. Later that evening he texted me and casually asked how my day was, he was asking me if I was going to join a gym cause we were talking about it earlier and I said yes, and he's like oh great now you're going to date a guy at the gym...We said goodnight and I haven't heard from him since nor initiated contact. He also logged onto his messenger a few days ago and saw me and instantly logged off. I'm not sure what to do or think. Should I just let this guy go, or is he in some sort of decision mode?
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (10 January 2008):
Looking at your age range i assume you are age mates or he's older and i must say he's really acting immature.We all go through tough times in life but you don't push away the one you love because your family's broke.That's absurd.Quite alright we may understand that he's confused and scattered as he says but venting out your frustrations on sum1 else is childish the least to say.He's just bringing up excuses.The truth of the matter is that he's very undecided over you.One part's telling him how much he needs you the other part is telling him he's got problems to deal with.You really can't sort it out for him and you certainly can't be part of his confusion.Just leave him to his confusion as he'll end up confusing you too.
Take care.
A
female
reader, dirtyblonde00 +, writes (10 January 2008):
dirtyblonde00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for both the replies, I honestly think he's really confused, but for no reason should I wait. I think it's one of those things I need to embrace the pain and move forward. He knows how to get a hold of me if he wants to talk to me and explain himself. He's never been one to not intiate contact. Knowing my life I will finally get over him and he will casually pop back in LOL :)
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A
female
reader, little_laura0  +, writes (10 January 2008):
he sounds confused and not sure of what he wants. he obviously still cares for you and it sounds like he still has feelings for you. i would give him time. if you haven't heard from him within a week, send him a nice and casual text asking how he is and take it from there. i do know from my experience that men tend to act on impulse and when there is something wrong they won't come out with it straight away, it tends to be a guessing game on our part. unfortunatly you have to wait for them to tell you and not try and force it out of them. if you force it, they tend to put up a wall, which is harder to break and lasts longer.
good luck and i hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Oh god yes, let him go. He's playing games with you. Just keep avoiding him. And if he tries to contact you avoid him still. Don't answer the phone, the instant messenger. And keep moving on. And most importantly act like you don't care. And if you see him, smile really big and say 'hiii!!' and act like you don't care and like you are really happy and have alot going on in your life. Just DO NOT show him that you care or that you are hurt. That's what he wants. Just move on. You'll find someone even hotter and BETTER. Ha!
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