A
female
age
30-35,
L0U
writes:How do we know when he has crossed the line from being in love with us to being obsessed? First things first, Let me introduce myself, Hi I'm L0U and i'm currently enjoying being single. I have had relationships in the past that haven't worked out, some good...mostly bad and a couple that were very ugly. In all my articles i write from experiance (whether it's directly mine or that of my friends). Right the boring introduction out of the way, lets get down to business.Ever had the "perfect" relationship? He takes us out, treats us, compliments our hair and never strays. He gets on with our friends and understands that we need our alone time. He's perfect until the break-up. Things haven't been going so well and we decide we need a break and want to be on our own for a while. We explain this to him and he says he is fine with it....then it all starts! Phone calls at daft o'clock in the morning jus to say "hi". (Hi? Hi? He wakes us up at 3 o'clock in the morning just to say hi?) He's upset we only broke up with him yesterday so we decide to let him off. Then we go out shopping with our girlfriends for some retail therapy and have a really good day, we almost forget all about him. Then we check our machine and have 8 new nessages. 8! We have only been out for a couple of hours. We listen to the messages anyway and he has asked us to meet him for a drink...just so he can have closure. Our friends tell us it is a bad idea but we go anyway. Then comes the "I can't live without you" speech. Why is he doing this to us? More to the point, why is he doing this to himself? We manage to get through a couple of hours with him and then realise we need to cut him out of our life altogether...it's for his own good. We change our phone number and when he calls our friends they tell him we no longer have a phone. All is going well until....He's outside our door. Why can't he just let go on move on? We tell him not to call at our house again and if he needs to talk to us we must meet in a public place. He "loves" us so agrees. True the relationship was great for a while but after the spark faded it wasn't just us that was unhappy. He starts to mither our friends and family members about us and we start to avoid places we may bump into him. His frinds then start to acidently on purpose take him out to cheer him up to the same places our friend take us! Enough is enough! We have not been together for over 3 month. We can't take anymore of this and so lie. We tell him we are seeing somebody else and so leave him feeling crushed and humiliated. What choice did we have? Would he have stalked us forever? We do feel bad because we did love him when we were together but after the spark had died...nothing.We end up feeling really horrible and cruel for ages but then start to ask did he not think about our feelings while he was there all the time? Did he not consider how it would make us feel when we had already told him time and time again we were not getting back together and being friends would never work?Obviously this can work both ways and we may find (or have already found) ourseleves thew same over an ex-boyfried. And so concludes are we in love or obsessed?
View related questions:
a break, broke up, crush, move on, spark, stalking Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article |
